Originally created 07/13/97

Ask Carson



Dear Carson: A friend's daughter is getting married later this summer. Even though I have not received an invitation I plan to send a wedding gift. A mutual friend of the bride's mother told me that what I was doing was improper. What say you, Carson? - Gift Horse

Dear Horse: While your wanting to send an early gift is not improper, it is jumping the gun. The bride's family might not be planning to include you due to having a smaller guest list than you might suppose. Such a gesture on your part could cause a predicament for the hosts.

Dear Carson: I have had a premature baby and since her survival was a touch-and-go situation, my husband and I did not send out birth announcements until she was home and out of danger. Many of our friends sent baby gifts and I am wondering if it would be improper of me to write a few lines of thanks on the back of the announcements? Please consider the fact that I have three little girls in all and that I have some big civic commitments. - Busy Mom

Dear Busy: Surely anyone would understand and appreciate your expressions of appreciation written on your announcements. After all, it is proper to write a few lines of thanks in your own hand on engraved sympathy acknowledgments.

Dear Carson: Sometimes when I am out with my wife or daughters a male friend will tell an off-color joke or use offensive four-letter words. I resent this kind of behavior in front of my ladies, even in a time of women's lib where such behavior seems to be the norm. How could I handle such situations without seeming to be an uptight prig? - Protective Papa

Dear Papa: Any sort of behavior which would be inappropriate for a lady is inappropriate for use around her. Such language is a dreadful assault to the sensibilities of women who would be ladies. Try using a mild reproach such as, "Harry, save that kind of talk for the locker room. My ladies are present."

Have a question on etiquette? You can ask Carson Elliott by calling INFOLINE at 442-4444. Press 4422 and leave your message. You can write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, Ga. 30913-1928. Send E-mail to Carson at AskCarson@poseidon.net.