Originally created 04/27/97

What's hot on the World Wide Web: Merry melodies and Disney tunes



Don't you hate it when there's a tune going through your head all afternoon and evening? Especially when it's a stupid tune? Like, "It's a Small World" from the so-politically-correct-that-it-ruins-the-curve-for-everyone-else ride at Disneyland.

Now, at least you can learn the lyrics to that tune, as well as to all the other ride-along ditties that have driven more than one ride operator to seek the quiet and solace of a padded cell for the balance of their lives.

The Disney Ride Lyric Database will have you singing, instead of merely humming, along with such attraction-enhancing numbers as "The Tiki Tiki Room," from the Enchanted Tiki Room, "Grim Grinning Ghost" from the Haunted Mansion and "Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life For Me)" from the recently corrected Pirates of the Caribbean attraction.

If your musical tastes run to more sophisticated levels, you're better off tuning into The '80s TV Theme Super Site, a remarkably goony look and listen at many of the songs and melodies that opened and closed some of the worst shows to ever shame the idiot box. If you want to download any of these monsters - they run from about 600K to 4.5MB per selection - you can soon have your computer spewing out the themes to "Dallas," "The Facts of Life," "The A Team," "Trapper John M.D.," "CHiPs" (the '78-'82 disco version), the short-lived "Charlie and Company" (sung by co-star Gladys Knight) and dozens of others.

And more: You can also listen to some of the cheesier ad jingles of the era, including ones for Doublemint gum and the ill-fated MdDonalds' McDLT, plus such timeless network promos as ABC's "You'll Love Us" and NBC's "Let's All Be There."

Next, a site we chose just for the sheer bugginess of it, is The Bug House, which proclaims itself to be "purveyors of fine bugs," and fine bugs they are too and should be, for upward of $50 a pop.

Still, if you like the way butterflies, moths, beetles and other insects look on your walls, this is the place to get them. You can select from such exotics as the three horn scarab, the green nymph stick and the hyper-roachy looking ghost walker. Also available are collections of butterflies up to 23 in a frame (that set's $148). Each bug you buy is museum-quality framed and ready for hanging.

OK, let's take a break here for something at least marginally useful, and that's Purina's Breed Select site on the Web. If you're in the dog market but don't know what type of dog's best for you and your lifestyle/personality, you've gotta check this site out. Its Select-a-Breed feature lets you answer a bunch of multiple-choice questions about what you'd like in a dog its size, how much it sheds, its level of indoor/outdoor activity, sociability, obedience, emotional stability and watchfulness. Then, with the punch of a button, up pops the pup for you, as well as a couple of close alternatives, with lots of information about each breed.

Or, if you'd like, you can take a six-page online Personality Test and the selector will chose a dog suited to your particular peculiarities. This latter method sometimes has disturbing results. We took the Personality Test twice, in different moods, and ended up the first time with a Bichon frise, a frilly little fluffball that makes a French poodle look like John Wayne; the second time we ended up with a papillon, which doesn't look so much like a dog as an ewok. With the breed selector, however, we wound up owning a dependable if yuppyish golden lab and a border collie.

Also of use this week is a site called Real Quote, which more than likely will reaffirm the fact that you're paying too much for your auto insurance. Here, you get another mess of questions to answer (hope you're in a test-taking mood this week, Professor) about you, your vehicle, your driving record, what kind of coverage you want and that all-knowing ZIP code number. Then, you click the button again and up pops what you'll have to pay for an annual premium at hundreds of insurance companies doing business in California.

The site is still under construction, and you can't get figures for more than one car at a time, but it still gives you a good comparison among the companies.

WHERE TO FIND THEM

  • Disney Ride Lyric Database: http://outland.cyberwar.com/midnight/disney.html
  • '80s TV Theme Super Site: http://www-leland.stanford.edu/karimzad
  • Purina's Breed Select: http://www.purina.com/breed
  • Real Quote: http://www.realquote.com
  • The Bug House: http://www.L5.com/bughouse