City Administrator Fred Russell is going to be hard to shop for this year. He's already got every tax increase he's asked for.

This latest one will give Augusta's police and firefighters a $2,000-a-year raise on top of the 3 percent cost-of-living raise all employees will get next year.

Commissioners Jerry Brigham , Don Grantham , Joe Bowles and Jimmy Smith played the Grinches who voted against the tax, while commissioners J.R. Hatney , Calvin Holland , Bernard Harper , Andy Cheek , Marion Williams and Mayor Pro Tem Betty Beard played Santa to an audience of firefighters.

"We can't meet this Christmas list," Mr. Brigham said with a huff. But he did allow that Mr. Russell had presented "a nice proposal" before asking, "How much is it going to cost?"

Mr. Russell was ready for that one. The cost of a hamburger, french fries and a large drink at a fast-food restaurant once a month, or $55.48 more a year for the owner of a $100,000 house, he said.

WOULD YOU LIKE AN INSULT WITH THAT TAX INCREASE? On Friday, my e-mail pen pal Carleton Duvall wrote to say he'd just read about the city's budget.

"I have no problem with paying additional taxes for police and fire protection," he wrote. "I do have a problem with my taxes paying for jaunts by commissioners to Hawaii and other resort areas under the guise of education, money for disparity studies and other waste. I also have a problem with Fred Russell's cavalier remark comparing the increase to hamburgers and french fries. What in the heck does one have with the other? Many elderly people whose only income is Social Security never eat out at fast-food restaurants."

FREE ARNIE AND JACK! Mayor Deke Copenhaver was addressing a conference of people who work in physician practices in Augusta, and the first question from the audience was about ... statues.

"Where do we stand on getting our golf statues back?" one man asked. The statues of such famous golfers as Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus were removed from the Georgia Golf Hall of Fame's Botanical Gardens after its state funding was cut and it was forced to close earlier this year. Trying to get permission for the city to "help save the Golf and Gardens, that has been one of the most difficult situations I have been through with regard to negotiations," Mr. Copenhaver said. But the city doesn't own the statues, the hall's board of directors does, he said.

"I would hope that they would see fit to bring them back," Mr. Copenhaver said. "Each year I host the Mayor's Masters Reception. This year we will be honoring Ben Crenshaw . And to me, having it at Golf and Gardens and not having those statutes there doesn't make a very good impression."

But that is all up to the hall's board, he said.

"But if they hear from a lot of citizens that the citizens would like to see them back in, I'm sure that should help our case," the mayor said.

"Free Arnie and Jack" T-shirts might help, too.

SIGN OF THE SEASON: He wasn't the typical criminal defendant seen in Richmond County Superior Court. He was far from his 20s, and the only drugs he might use are intended to counter the deteriorating effects of aging. He was early and quiet on a back bench in the courtroom. When they called his name, he was greeted with gentle teasing by the public defenders.

His attorney, Tanya Jeffords , told the judge her 75-year-old client did write a bad check to his landlord, but she also believes he had been unfairly evicted. He is a retired veteran who takes care of his wife of 51 years, Ms. Jeffords said. His only income is from disability, and she implored the judge not to set any fine too high.

"How much money do you have in your pocket?" Judge James G. Blanchard Jr. asked the man.

He thought a moment and answered $20.

"That will be a $20 fine," the judge said.

Who said the judge is as hard as nails?

DEAR SANTA,

Please bring Mayor Deke a downtown riverfront baseball stadium this year because it would make him so happy. Commissioner Calvin Holland would like to have a hard drive, a recreation director's head on a stick and a new hat box to think outside of. And although they are loathe to admit it, Mr. Williams and Mr. Cheek would love to have four more years on the commission. If that's not possible, Santa, please bring Mr. Williams a zoo and Mr. Cheek a canal and a South Carolina tag.

Mr. Harper wants a recount and just a few more votes, as does Freddie Handy . District Attorney Danny Craig wants a judgeship. Freddie Sanders wants one, too. And so does Columbia County Magistrate Judge Wade Padgett , but since you have only one in your sack of toys this year, you'll have to decide who's been the best Republican.

Woody Merry wants one mandamus, two injunctions and three more lawsuits against the city.

And please bring the Coliseum Authority somebody who knows how to do payroll taxes and pay bills so their employees' medical insurance can kick back in.

The Georgia Golf Hall of Fame board deserves a big bag of switches from some of the eight truckloads of trees and bushes that died under its stewardship.

In Columbia County, bring former Planning Commission member Brett McGuire some kind of political office. And state Rep. Ben Harbin would love to have a plea bargain to reckless driving.

Judge Jim Blanchard wants a commercial rezoning, and while you're at it, drop off 35 acres of Blanchard property at the Evans Government Complex -- also known as Developers Paradise -- for an addition to Blanchard Park.

YAZOO, CHAPTER SIX

BY RICHARD NOEGEL

When the legislature convenes in the new Statehouse in Louisville on January 1796, George Matthews is finishing his term as governor. He tells the assembly that the speculators have paid the state in full that they have canceled all mortgages and that they are in full possession of the western lands. He recommends rescinding the Yazoo Act. (Yes, the one he himself had signed into law. That's right. You got it.)

On Jan. 11, 1796, the Legislature elects Jared Irwin governor. Matthews will leave Georgia, an exile.

A committee is appointed to make a recommendation on rescinding the detested act. The committee members are threatened with violence, but they report, in remarkably polemical language, in favor of rescinding it. The reformist Legislature immediately rescinds the Yazoo Act by huge majorities in both houses.

Then -- just so the point would not be lost on posterity -- they decide to excise from the official records all traces of the hated act and burn them ceremonially before the Statehouse door.

A committee is appointed to collect all references to the act. Even the Yazoo Act itself is literally cut out of the books. That being done, the new governor and all the members and officers of both houses of the General Assembly meet in the Representatives' Hall on Feb. 15, 1796. After a brief ceremony, they move in solemn procession to gather on the grounds before the Statehouse door, the repugnant papers in hand.

Suddenly, according to a very strong tradition, an old man gallops up on a white horse, declaring to the crowd that he had come to see justice done. Insisting that only fire from heaven is to be used to destroy the obnoxious act, he produces a magnifying glass that he uses to kindle the papers.

As the documents catch fire, the witnesses remove their hats, and the messenger of the House declaims the appointed words: "God save the State! And long preserve her rights! May every attempt to injure them perish as these corrupt acts now do!"

As the papers are reduced to ashes, the mysterious old man remounts his horse and rides away, never to be seen again.

City Ink thanks Staff Writers Sandy Hodson and Tom Corwin for their contributions to this week's column.

Reach Sylvia Cooper at (706) 823-3228 or sylvia.cooper@augustachronicle.com.