Mother of groom has many questions

Web posted Sunday, October 29, 2000

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By Carson Elliott
Columnist

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903. FILE/STAFF

Dear Carson: My son is being married in an afternoon ceremony this fall. Should my dress be the same length as the bride's mother dress (2 inches below the knee), or can I wear a tea length dress? Is burgundy or wine an appropriate color if the bridal attendants are wearing long, navy dresses? Also, is it correct for the groom's father to be a groomsman? If so, should he escort me down the aisle so that I may light a unity candle? Also, please comment on plans for the bride's mother (a divorcee) to light a unity candle with her son as a possible escort. - Mother of the Groom

Dear MOG: The mother of the groom coordinates her dress not with the bridesmaid's colors but with the color of the mother of the bride's dress. Tea length would be appropriate, even if the bride's mother wears a street-length dress. Fathers of the groom are more often a best man rather than a groomsman. However, I see nothing actually wrong with it. It is up to the bridal couple and their parents to determine who escorts the mothers to light a unity candle.

Dear Carson: My mother has been at home from the hospital for several days, recovering from cancer surgery. Well-meaning friends and relatives have visited for more than an hour, in the hospital and at home. Would you suggest a proper length of time for visits and a tactful way of handling such situations? - Visitor Violations

Dear VV: Hospital sickroom visits should not exceed 10 minutes, and home visits to a convalescent, depending on the degree of illness, should last no longer than 20 or 30 minutes. It is up to a nurse or relative to curtail lengthy visits by saying something like, "Mother is tired and needs to rest now, but we really appreciate your stopping by."

Dear Carson: I am planning an appreciation dinner for our board of trustees. We need to know the number attending and their entree choice. What is the proper wording for the RSVP card? Also, how do we subtly mark place cards so the servers can readily see who chooses what? - Party Puzzle

Dear Puzzle: Enclose RSVP cards with stamped, self-addressed envelopes. Have spaces for the guests' names and "Will attend --" and "Will not attend --; "Beef --" or "Salmon --". I suggest marking the place cards with a red dot for those who opt for beef. Good luck!

Write to Ask Carson, The Augusta Chronicle, P.O. Box 1928, Augusta, GA 30903-1928. Send e-mail to askcarson@home.com. Carson Elliott's Web site is at www.theproperthing.com.

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