Maybe it's true that life begins at 50 ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

-- Phyllis Diller

I think half the ads on the Internet involve finding old friends from high school or tracking down long lost family members.

I guess the effort to reconnect with those from our past is a strong one, but I have a simpler, cheaper method.

Put on your oldest, sloppiest, least-flattering clothes and go out in public. I guarantee you'll run into more old friends when you look your worst than you ever do dressed up.

Want to meet that old girlfriend or boyfriend to show her or him how great you turned out?

Well, put on a pair of dirty cutoffs, a T-shirt with holes and maybe those shoes you keep in the garage because they're too dirty to bring inside, but easy to slip on for quick trips to the store.

I promise you will run into someone you had a crush on in high school, who will look at you with the smug sympathy of someone who made the right call long ago.

How about that big boss upstairs that you've been trying to show you're executive potential?

Put on a pair of too-small sweatpants, a sweatshirt with some suggestive slogan on its front and flip-flops.

The odds are favorable that you'll run into him or her.

By the way, there is a variation of this rule, that if you put beer or wine in your grocery cart -- even if you were buying it for a friend -- you will bump into your preacher on the next aisle.

With luck, he'll be so embarrassed after reading your suggestive sweatshirt, he never notices the alcohol.

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: If someone broke into my parents' house, he would be met by my father with his Remington 12 gauge and my mother with her two 16-ounce framing hammers.

If I were a burglar, I would take my chances with the shotgun.

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TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one shared by Charlie Williams .

The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife's birthday.

"A little surprise, eh?" smiled the clerk.

"You bet," answered the customer. "She's expecting a cruise."