She studied it for five years at the University of South Carolina. She's lived it the past 2 1/2 years as the living victim of senseless murder.

The attacks of last week only picked at the scab of Morris' personal heartbreak.

''All that emotion and all those feelings resurfaced,'' said the 36-year-old LPGA player. ''You know how those people are feeling. You want to do something, but what can you do? For 5,000 people to suddenly be wiped off the face of the Earth for no reason is ridiculous.''

Morris understands too well what it feels like to lose someone you love. In February 1999, she lost her older brother to a murderer's bullet in Atlanta. She has been struggling ever since to reacquire the sense of normalcy the rest of us took for granted until last week.

''That pretty much took me out of commission,'' she said.

Mike Morris was five years older than Marianne. They were joined by family and golf. He was a club pro in Cincinnati and helped coach Marianne on her swing. When Mike moved to Atlanta, he opened a golf equipment shop with his touring-pro sister.

At 10 p.m. on a Sunday when Marianne was preparing for a tournament half a world away in Australia, Mike was working late at their shop finishing up some club repairs. A man came into the store, robbed it and shot Mike to death.

Two months later, the police arrested the man during a routine traffic stop during Freaknik week. More than a year later, he was convicted of murder and sentenced to 25 years to life.

''I'm just now getting back to where I'm OK on the golf course,'' Morris said.

When she first came to South Carolina 17 years ago to major in criminal justice and walk onto the golf team, Morris didn't know that the golf course would be her life.

''I was always interested in police work, and I really wanted to go into either the Secret Service or work for the FBI,'' she said. ''Life takes certain turns, and I wound up out here playing golf.''

In 1995-96 she was playing her finest golf, posting 11 top-10 finishes including a career-best second in the Jamie Farr Kroger Classic and a third in the McDonald's LPGA Championship.

Riding the crest of her strong play, Morris played 29 events around the world in 1996, banking almost $300,000 and finishing 16th on the money list.

Then everything started to unravel.

''I really think I had a case of burnout in '97,'' Morris said. ''Instead of taking some time off, I kind of forced myself to play and lost my confidence.''

Her game slipped steadily for two years. After her brother's murder, it fell apart as she missed 15 cuts in 22 events in 1999.

If that wasn't enough duress, a bulging disc in her back forced her to play only six events in 2000. Eschewing surgery for rehab, she returned this year to a more limited schedule. This week will be her 14th and final event of the season.

''I could have played more, but I chose not to,'' she said.

In her 12th year as a pro, Morris has more perspective on the game she plays for a living. Everything that happens on the course is not as important as it once seemed.

''That's probably why I'm playing better,'' she said after shooting a 5-under-par 67 on Thursday at Mount Vintage Plantation Golf Club to share the first-round lead in the Asahi Ryokuken International Championship. ''A bad shot or missed putt does not affect me the way it used to. I enjoyed playing today and hope I can do as well tomorrow. I'll try to do the best I can.''

After everything she's endured, finally winning so close to where she played collegiately and lost her brother would be the right kind of justice.

Reach Scott Michaux at (706) 823-3219.