Her eyes well with tears as she recalls the man who gave her a Princess telephone for her 16th birthday and who planned so many of her family's New York gatherings.

"He was the one that wanted to make sure everyone stayed together," she said.

"Sometimes I think, 'I've got to call.' And then it's like, 'I can't,"' she said.

One year ago on Sept. 11, Mrs. Forde lost her uncle, only three weeks after he had been promoted to a deputy chief of the New York Fire Department. As a commanding officer of the department's Special Operations Command unit, he was one of those in charge at the base of the World Trade Center on Sept. 11 and was in Tower Two when it collapsed. He was 63.

Diane Forde talks to a visitor next to a framed memorial to her uncle, Raymond M. Downey. He had been promoted deputy chief of the New York Fire Department three weeks before Sept. 11. JONATHAN ERNST/STAFF

Mrs. Forde also lost a cousin that day - Michael Roberts, also a New York firefighter.

"Obviously a part of our family and heritage is missing," she said.

Among other Augusta-area residents who lost family members in the World Trade Center that day was Joanne Kennelly. She lost her brother Paul Tegtmeier, a New York firefighter.

She said the pain she still feels prompted her to turn down an invitation to attend the memorial at ground zero and place a rose at the site in memory of her brother.

"Honestly, I didn't want to go," she said. "I'm just not ready to deal with that."

Mrs. Forde says she has dealt with the loss of her uncle through faith, friends and happy memories.

"It's still hard," she said through tears. "I know he's with Jesus, and that's very comforting. Thinking of the good times gets you through it."

Prayer has gone a long way, too. She is a member of the Alleluia Community, a multi-denominational Christian group of about 800 people.

"They've just really helped us through this time," she said. "If people don't have faith, I don't know how they get through things."

Inside Mrs. Forde's home, she has pictures of Mr. Downey on her walls and her computer screen. One picture is from a memorial held for him in Deer Park, N.Y., that Mrs. Forde attended.

"He was really well liked," she said, adding that he had 900 men under his command at the fire department. Since Sept. 11, a road and post office have been named after Mr. Downey in his hometown.

Mrs. Forde said she has visited New York's ground zero.

"I just couldn't believe the devastation," she said. "Obviously, something was missing - not only the buildings."

Mr. Downey had previously been in another situation involving terrorism.

Mrs. Forde's grandson Jonathan Forde peeks around the corner where Mr. Downey's photo is displayed on her computer. Mrs. Forde also lost a cousin in the attacks - Michael Roberts, also a New York firefighter. She has visited New York's ground zero to pay tribute to her relatives. JONATHAN ERNST/STAFF

"Gov. (Frank) Keating (of Oklahoma) knew him and asked him if he could help," she said, referring to the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.

But on Sept. 11, terrorism struck her uncle before he could finish his job of helping others.

"He was very knowledgeable about (terrorism)," she said. "You wonder if he was so knowledgeable, why didn't he come out? Only the Lord knows."

These days, Mrs. Forde prefers to think better thoughts.

From time to time, she looks at pictures of Mr. Downey on her walls and remembers the jokes he would tell or the talks she would have with him about his grandchildren. Now, she keeps busy with her own grandson, Jonathan Forde, who wants to be a firefighter someday.

"Children are a blessing," she said.

And what will she do to remember her uncle today?

"I'm sure I'll spend the day in some prayer and will probably think about what a blessing he's been not only to our family but to all those he saved as a firefighter."

Mrs. Forde then looks back to the picture of her uncle. She still has the tears in her eyes, but she also has a smile.

Reach Preston Sparks at (706) 828-3904.