Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half.
-- John Wanamaker
John Martone wants to know.
He writes: "Can you tell me why S.C. does not carry Yankee Doodles in grocery and supermarkets? Having been raised on Yankee Doodles in New York, I craved them down here in retirement. Yankee Doodles usually come three chocolate-and-creme-filled cupcakes to a package, and you buy them by the box.
"Is it the name? Can't the South forget?"
Mr. Martone, I don't think it's the name; it's probably just a regional distribution limitation. If you go to www. famousfoods.com/dryado.html, it appears you can get them shipped to your home.
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SPEAKING OF REGIONAL CHALLENGES: Coach Jeff , the Greater Augusta swimming coach, sent a postcard from China, where he was checking out the competition of the Olympics and Paralympics.
Donna Hadden and John Maffett send a card from Yellowstone National Park, where they said the weather was beautiful.
Unfortunately, they say they drove through rain, ice, snow and fog ... on a Harley to get there.
"Didn't know that eyeballs actually do freeze!" they said.
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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POLITICAL THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Why do I get the suspicion that if a ticket of Barack Obama and Sarah Palin ran against John McCain and Joe Biden the new folks would beat the veteran senators 5-to-1 ... and most Americans wouldn't care what it did for the political party system?
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TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one from Charlie Williams .
It seems a country-talking businessman from Georgia walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told him that he was going to fly to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the businessman handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
The Southerner produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12 percent interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the hick from the South for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the man returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Southern businessman smiled and said, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for less than $50 and expect it to be there when I get back?"
Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344
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