We've got golf and the Godfather, both great gimmicks, but it occurs to me that there might be another, perhaps even more effective way to lure the tourists .

We need a monster.

A couple of weeks ago, an odd and ugly creature washed up on the shore at Montauk, on Long Island in New York. Quickly dubbed the Montauk Monster, it drew attention to a community that had previously been best known for a lighthouse.

The "Monster" is just a prop from a film called Splinterheads . But for a few weeks , Montauk had a real cash cow, or pig, or whatever it was.

As it turns out, Augusta has something of a history with monsters. In 1979, a sighting of bigfootesque creature around Fort Gordon was reported.

And let us not forget the infamous Lizard Man, an imagined (or was he ...) swamp monster that supposedly ambled out of the swamps near Bishopville, S.C., in 1988. Sleepy Bishopville dined off those unsupported sightings for months - perhaps years.

Here's the good news: Augusta has plenty of places for monsters to roam. Phinizy Swamp, the Savannah River, anywhere near Savannah River Site, where odd irradiated animals are rumored to be, all seem like potential habitats. We've been looking for a way to make Regency Mall productive since the last tenant vacated about six years ago. Promoting it as the chosen roost for a giant bat creature might breathe a little life into the old relic.

Of course, that last suggestion does shed a little light on the inherent problem . We don't actually have a monster, nor has anyone (except Fort Gordon guy in 1979) reported seeing a monster.

Now it would be immoral and unethical for me to suggest making up a monster just so Augusta might fleece some suckers for a midnight monster tour and an "I Saw the Savannah River Serpent" T-shirt.

What I am suggesting is that perhaps we aren't looking hard enough. There are manhole covers in Augusta that warn of the runoff leading to the Savannah River. Seems odd. Do the manhole covers know something we do not?

My father-in-law once thought he saw a large cat of some kind at SRS. Was it a mundane wildlife sighting, or a rare glimpse of the Technetium Tabby?

Before migrating back to Augusta, I spent some time in the Pacific Northwest - Bigfoot country. And I can tell you that monsters are everywhere. You only have to look. With just the right eyes. In fading light.

Augusta, and its as-yet-undiscovered monster is waiting for you.