There was a whole lot of jumping around at last week's Augusta Commission meeting.

Commissioner Don Grantham jumped up and left the room when the Rev. Clarence Grier started accusing commissioners who voted to censure Commissioner Calvin Holland of being racists and referring to them as "six stooges." And Commissioner Marion Williams jumped up and moved toward Commissioner Joe Bowles as if to take him on when Mr. Bowles told him to pay his overdue property taxes after Mr. Williams called him "boy" and accused him of saying "the dumbest thing" he'd ever heard. But he went back and sat down.

Mr. Williams said he didn't go toward Mr. Bowles to start a fight. He was just ready to go.

But the marshals in the room thought the same thing I did. That's why they moved forward when Mr. Williams jumped up and puffed out his chest.

The question is, could Marion take Joe?

THE FIGHTS AT CITY HALL: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the commission fights here at the Marble Palace! In today's fight, Sexagenarian Marion will take on Boy Joe for the Championship of the World of Foolishness.

(Mayor Pro Tem Betty Beard carries the round cards.)

Round 1: Sexagenarian Marion jumps around the ring spouting hot air while Boy Joe taunts him about overdue taxes.

Round 2: Boy Joe takes out his BlackBerry and text messages the office while Sexagenarian Marion accuses him of backing up every time he tries to get in a punch. "Come on, Boy, put up your dukes."

Commissioner Andy Cheek is sitting ringside, hollering for both sides to win. He never could make up his mind. Mr. Grantham, also sitting ringside on Commissioner Jimmy Smith's bad ear, had to keep explaining what was going on.

"Is that a bell I hear?" Mr. Smith keeps shouting.

Round 3: Sexagenarian Marion lands a punch on Boy Joe's chin and he goes down but is back on his feet quickly because Sexagenarian Marion hadn't paid his taxes, so there wasn't much weight behind the blow.

Mr. Holland is in Sexagenarian Marion's corner. Commissioner Jerry Brigham was supposed to be in Boy Joe's corner, but there wasn't enough room for both of them.

Round 4: After circling the ring for a few minutes, Sexagenarian Marion and Boy Joe are locked in, beating the daylights out of each other's backs until the referee, Sleek Deke, breaks them up.

Sleek Deke looks great in his referee's shirt, proving that black and white works well together in some places.

Commissioner J.R. Hatney, also at ringside says, "We done gone crazy."

But City Administrator Fred Russell keeps saying what great things are going on in Augusta.

"People say there's nothing to do here. We've got the river, the Commons, and we've got the fights at City Hall."

Round 5: Sexagenarian Marion moves in and with an uppercut knocks Boy Joe out and wins the fight.

He is crowned the Champion of Foolishness.

Next week he'll take on Tom Beck for the 15th time.

READY TO RUMBLE: Mr. Russell wanted the judicial center advisory committee to "take positive action" to ensure that judicial officials whose offices were originally scheduled to move into the new building but are now excluded because it has been cut 72,850 square feet don't go whining to Augusta commissioners.

He even recommended that he and Superior Court Judge Carlisle Overstreet meet with the excluded ones and "have a little heart-to-heart with them."

If they did make those pre-emptive strikes, they didn't work. Seems nobody's happy. Not the solicitor, the district attorney, and not even the State Court and Superior Court judges who will be in the building. They don't like this or they don't like that.

Mr. Russell said that's too bad.

"I can't build an $80 million building with $60 million," he said.

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME: There really wasn't much that came back from a Georgia Open Records Act request by The Augusta Chronicle for recent correspondence related to the planning for an Athens satellite of the Medical College of Georgia School of Medicine. There was kind of an interesting exchange between state Sen. Ed Tarver, D-Augusta, a vocal critic of the move, and University System of Georgia Chancellor Erroll B. Davis.

Mr. Tarver repeatedly asked that someone not connected with either the University of Georgia, a partner in the move, or MCG be allowed to come in and conduct an independent analysis of it, with the unspoken hope that expanding in Augusta instead would come across as the better alternative. While it was a cordial exchange, the chancellor ultimately came back with: "I am not opposed to our plans being subject to independent critique as they develop," he wrote to Mr. Tarver in a May 22 e-mail. "We will be as transparent as possible and invite analysis. I just can not (sic) delegate our responsibility to those who are not accountable for outcomes."

But as part of this effort, they are planning to hire a consultant. And isn't that the very definition of a consultant?

P.S.: By the way, Mr. Tarver wrote back to say he agreed they shouldn't delegate responsibility to those not accountable. But he reiterated his request for review by someone from outside MCG and UGA. And he added this: "The opportunity to critique is of no benefit if there will be no opportunity for revision to the plan."

Apparently, Augusta leaders are getting tired of being told, "Thanks for your concern. Now please sit down."

THE LAST OLD D-DAY SOLDIER: Last week, the Kiwanis Club of Augusta honored Ross Snellings, its only remaining member who participated in the D-Day invasion, with a Hixon Award, the highest award bestowed by Kiwanis International for lifetime service, and a standing ovation.

Mr. Snellings, now 90, said he commanded a 391st field artillery battalion in the landing on Omaha Beach on June 6, 1944.

"We fought through Normandy and killed thousands of Germans," Mr. Snellings said later. "It's sad to think about it."

As a second lieutenant, he commanded B Battalion as they fought their way through Asigny, Coutance and Avaranches before he was wounded Aug. 9 near Mortain.

"My left leg is fused," he said. "I walk with a stiff leg. My right knee has been replaced."

D-DAY, AND THEN THAT OTHER WAR: Perry Smith, a retired major general and national military analyst, spoke about the D-Day invasion and answered questions from the audience about that war, but finally someone broached the subject of the Iraq war.

"Iraq? Ah. Oh. Well, the only thing I guess is new is The Augusta Chronicle has given up on the war," he said. "I don't know if you noticed that. When The Augusta Chronicle gives up on the war, it's a little like when Walter Cronkite gave up on Vietnam. It's an indication.

"It's not going well, and this surge is not likely to work, and I think by the fall we'll make a decision for the slow withdrawal of our troops, first from Baghdad and then from Iraq and just let the civil war continue. ... We're right in the middle of that, and I think we need to extract ourselves from that."

He said he's not sure that's what will happen, and "there's still a little bit of a chance we will succeed with the surge, but I am not optimistic about that, and I hope cooler heads will prevail with people like Bob Gates, who is a very good man as Secretary of Defense, will make the right decision sometime this fall. And that's the way I think it's going to play out."

THE REAL THING: A few years ago when I was writing gardening stories, I went to Aiken to do one on Linda and Sam Christine's fabulous garden. As we were walking around, I asked Linda what the white flowers on tall stems swaying in the wind were.

"That's Queen Anne's Lace," she said. "The real Queen Anne's Lace."

Later I went to Green Thumb West Nursery and bought some real Queen Anne's Lace and planted it.

It's about two feet tall now, but every day as I exit my driveway, I see the same thing growing five feet tall in the ditch. It's everywhere.

So I asked someone at the nursery was there a real Queen Anne's Lace as opposed to a fake Queen Anne's Lace, and she said, "No, there's only one."

"Then why did I pay $4 for something that's growing in the ditch all along the road by my house?" I asked.

She explained that the plant has a long tap root and is difficult to dig. I told her she didn't know my husband. To save $4, he'd get it out.

City Ink thanks Staff Writer Tom Corwin for his contribution to this week's column.

Reach Sylvia Cooper at (706) 823-3228 or sylvia.cooper@augustachronicle.com.