More than 30 years ago, Jim Stafford's hit song Wildwood Weed discussed a childhood pastime: "Smokin' them wildwood flowers got to be a habit, we never seen no harm, we thought it was kind-a handy, take a trip and never leave the farm."

Nearly as much fun, and not quite so risky, is to go tripping on food named after other locales.

We can travel this big old goofy world on our stomachs, without ever budging from our kitchens, and be back in time for a late-night snack.

Because so many of you have been traveling the past few days -- either to our town for golf or away from town to avoid golf -- you know all about the hazards of eating on the road.

Our culinary journey, however, requires no vaccinations, airport searches, misplaced luggage, flight delays, lost reservations, bad translations, currency conversions, stolen wallets or Montezuma's revenge.

Our vacation starts with breakfast on the Continent: Belgian waffles, perhaps, or French toast. A Danish or two. Some English muffins.

While in Europe, let's get an early lunch. A Greek salad, or, if we land in Nice, a salad NiÃoise. You could stick to a simple tossed salad with Belgian endive and French dressing (or Italian or Russian).

As the day wears on, let's stop in Vienna for sausages named for that city -- wieners. ("Vienna sausages" are something else entirely.)

In Frankfurt, we could order the same dog, also called a frankfurter.

While in Germany, we might stop over in Hamburg: Would ordering a hamburger with Swiss cheese, French fries and Brussels sprouts be carrying multiculturalism too far? Should we cross the border for Swiss steak, or head north for Swedish meatballs? Traipse the Italian cities for bologna, Parmesan cheese and Neapolitan ice cream?

France serves Champagne, and Portugal pours Port. Neighboring Spain offers sherry, named for the town of Jerez. And there's always Scotch.

The day is getting late, so let's return to North America. Canadian bacon or Virginia ham -- what's it going to be? I prefer Cajun food (a shortening of Acadian, meaning folks driven out of the Canadian region of Acadia and settling in Louisiana).

Let's not stop there, though. Our evening meal could begin with California rolls and Manhattan clam chowder or New England clam chowder -- although Brunswick stew sounds good and Lowcountry boil better.

Our supper could include a Philly cheese steak, Buffalo wings, Boston baked beans, Monterey Jack cheese, Texas toast, Idaho potatoes and Vidalia onions. If we are feeling fancy, a New York strip steak.

Dessert, anyone? Order the baked Alaska (whatever that is), or the Mississippi mud pie or Boston cream pie.

Our imaginary trip ended, we can loosen our belts, settle down for a nap and seriously consider staying home for a while -- and on a diet.