Some stickers stand out when stuck in traffic
By Bill Kirby| Columnist
Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A Pennsylvania woman convicted of shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads "Convicted Shoplifter." However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading "I'd Rather Be Stealing!"

-- Jimmy Fallon

I was stuck in traffic Monday morning and noticed one of those white oval vehicle stickers with the black initials "CB" on it. I figure this is "Something-Beach" because I've seen the same thing with "HH" and the little Hilton Head lighthouse.

My question is: What are these things? What do you call them, and what do they signify?

Steven Uhles, our pop culture columnist, said he thinks they were inspired by European ferry tags.

I tried unsuccessfully to see if I could find it on the Internet.

No luck.

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MORE BUMPER STICKERS: While I was researching beach tags, I got stuck on bumper stickers and came across these moving mottos. Have you seen:

I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying.

Leaving Florida? Take a developer with you.

Don't make me call my flying monkeys.

Palm Beach County: We put the "duh" in Florida

Welcome to Salt Lake City, home of more moms

Are you as close to Jesus as you are to my bumper?

My other car is a broom

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?

West Virginia: One million people and 15 last names.

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BY THE WAY: I'm looking for people with Feb. 29 birthdays. Give me a call or an e-mail if that fits you at (706) 823-3344 or bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com. I'm trying to figure out if people usually celebrate a day early or a day late when their birth date comes around only once every four years.

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TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one from Everett Fernandez .

A couple of young boys were fishing at a pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the game warden jumped out of the bushes.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods. The game warden was hot on his heels.

After about a half-mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the game warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin' license, boy!" the warden gasped.

With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the game warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one."

From the Tuesday, February 26, 2008 edition of the Augusta Chronicle
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