Last week, I complained about the treatment of Southerners by Hollywood, and I quickly ran out of space before running out of gripes. Please let me tell you a few more things that irritate me:

- The cottage industry that exists to teach people how to take the SAT and other standardized tests. Tests once indicated a student's knowledge and aptitude; now they merely show he has learned the tricks of the trade.

- People who think that if dots are good enough for Web addresses, they should infect the rest of society, so they ruin their telephone numbers, businesses and names: 1.800.HOW.DUMB, the.book.store, India.Arie.

- Folks who think they are being tolerant of all religions, nonreligions and little wood nymphs by writing B.C.E. and C.E. instead of B.C. and A.D. in dates. In reality, this Common Era terminology refers to the same time frame as the Christian Era -- which is another thing that C.E. stands for.

- While we're on the subject of faith, why is The Simpsons the only TV show that depicts a family attending church regularly? Books have been written about Homer and Marge's theology -- and it's just a cartoon series! When was the last time you saw the cast of soap operas, crime dramas and reality shows picking up a hymnal?

- Cell phone commercials. Though they are endless, I still have no idea what company is doing what. Not only can I not tell you who says "Can you hear me now?" but I also don't know what it means and don't even care.

- People who forget history and assume everyone else has, too. When The Alamo was released in 2004, I read a movie review that contained the warning: "Spoiler alert!" Film fans, if you don't know by now what happened to the proto-Texans at San Antonio in 1836, you need to stay out of the movie house and get back into the schoolhouse.

- Robert Ludlum's continued output of best-sellers. Never mind that the author died in 2001; he still makes the charts every year or so. Give it a rest, Bob.

- Novels that play up the author's name much bigger than the title. Is the writer more important than the topic? Hmmmm: My Grocery List, by STEPHEN KING.

- People who take idiotic chances and have to be rescued at public expense. This includes skiers who get lost in blizzards, mountain climbers who have to be helicoptered to safety, surfers who lose a toe to sharks and, of course, drunks who dash down the streets of Pamplona with bulls in pursuit. If I had the time and money to do these things, I wouldn't feel so upset, but I don't, so they need to stop.

- Similarly, 9-year-olds who write novels (especially if they are named Robert Ludlum), 7-year-olds who swim from the California coast to Alcatraz Island, and 80-year-old guys who walk around the world. They make me feel totally inadequate.

- Families on home-decorating shows who redo the "hideous, outdated and grotesque" kitchen, bathroom or yard of a house they just bought. I would worry about the previous owners tuning in and learning they have absolutely no sense of style.

- Groups that bury time capsules. Do they dig them up at, say, 4 p.m. the same day? No, they leave them there for years, so let's start calling them "date capsules." This would make me happy and cost you nothing.

- Boards that won't organize unless they can devise a ludicrous name that lends itself to a snappy acronym. For instance: American Society for the Choice of Outlandish Ties -- ASCOT.

- The ever-expanding number of people who claim to have been at Woodstock. I have met perhaps two people who were there in 1969, when the festival crowd was estimated at 400,000. Years later, millions claim to have wallowed in the mud. By the time you read this, I might even have been there myself. Peace, brother.

Reach Glynn Moore at (706) 823-3419 or glynn.moore@augustachronicle.com.