NASCAR season provided many memorable quotes

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The 12 drivers in the Chase for the Championship were paired into groups for a NASCAR version of The Newlywed Game in Las Vegas during the Awards Banquet celebration.

One response had people rolling in the aisles. When asked what driver they wouldn’t want their daughters to date, Matt Kenseth doubled host Bob Eubanks with laughter by saying “Danica.”

When a season lasts 10 months, there’s bound to be a lot of memorable quotes:

• “Thank you for Sunoco racing fuel and Goodyear tires that bring performance and power to the track. Lord, I want to thank you for my smoking hot wife tonight ... Lord, I pray you bless the drivers and use them tonight. May they put on a performance worthy of this great track. In Jesus’ name, boogity, boogity, boogity. Amen.” – The Rev. Joe Nelms, giving his invocation before a Nationwide Series race at Nashville Superspeedway

• “I know what his status is for the rest of the night, and I’m going to get him drunk.” – Tony Stewart, after winning the Sprint Cup championship, on whether crew chief Darian Grubb was about to be fired

• “I’m more upset about Greg Biffle. He’s the most unprofessional little scaredy-cat I’ve ever seen in my life. He won’t even fight me like a man. So if somebody will text me his address, I’ll go visit him at his house and show him what he really needs. He needs a whooping, and I’m going to give it to him.” – Boris Said, after he collided with Biffle at Watkins Glen International

• “I already know that Bob at the Dairy Queen has already been giving away ice cream tonight, and he will tell me to the penny exactly how much he lost doing it, literally to the cent.” – Stewart, on how his hometown of Columbus, Ind., celebrated his championship

• “I don’t think they’re fun racing. I don’t think there’s anything good about them.” – Regan Smith on fuel-mileage finishes

• “This is as good as it gets, guys. If people aren’t watching, that’s their problem because we’ve got some great stuff going on here.” – Carl Edwards, moments after Trevor Bayne won the season-opening Daytona 500

• “His hair – it looks like it came straight out of Dumb and Dumber.” – Kyle Busch to teammate Denny Hamlin

• “I’ve been pretty good at making myself look like an idiot just about everywhere lately. There’s YouTube all over the place these days.” – Kurt Busch

• “If the president of the United States is not getting them to do that, I’m not sure what we’re going to be able to do to figure that out.” – NASCAR Chairman Brian France, on getting companies to spend money in racing

• “I won’t do a start and park. If I need money, I can go home and sell cars and plant cotton.” – David Ragan, on looking for a job in 2012

• “If you don’t think this was one of the most exciting Chases to watch from a fan standpoint, you’ve got to go to a doctor immediately and get checked out.” – Stewart, on winning the championship tiebreaker


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