Adoption deserves more regard, more consideration by society

As The Chronicle recently reported, Augusta once again is home to two abortion providers.

 

Both are nestled in respectable, suburban office parks. Both give every outward appearance of being a place where pregnant couples can pay a professional to make their problems go away.


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Both are places we as a community would rather not talk about.

The pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute studied the motivations of women who chose abortion. The reasons most frequently cited were that having a child would interfere with a woman’s education, work or ability to care for dependents (74 percent) and the inability to afford raising a child (73 percent). These motivations are real and understandable.

But try as we may, there’s one central issue we can’t avoid: Abortion is violence that ends the life of real people.

They might be tiny, helpless and hidden from view, but they are people, just like us. This is why we’d rather not talk about those two clinics in Augusta, because we know what really happens there.

Adoption provides a better way.

Adoption makes the well-being of the child central, rather than forcing it aside. Adoption builds families, rather than destroying them. Adoption protects life, rather than ending it. Adoption is a real and viable alternative to abortion.

Postmodern dogma notwithstanding, most people know intuitively that one path is superior to the other.

The objections are predictable, ill-informed and easily answered.

Adoption is too expensive!

It’s actually free for a woman to place her child for adoption. Tax credits and grants abound to assist adoptive families with their fees.

What about kids in foster care!

That’s a real problem, but a separate issue. We’re talking about infants voluntarily placed for adoption, not those removed from their families by the state.

No one will adopt these children if we let them be born!

The truth is, for years infant adoption agencies have been unable to serve the scores of families willing to adopt. Our agency has had the joy of watching families gladly adopt children who were conceived in rape, survived abortion, were born addicted, or are suffering severe disabilities.

Nevertheless, abortion vastly outnumbers adoption by any reckoning.

In 2014 there were 30,013 abortions compared to 381 infant adoptions in Georgia. This means that for every one couple voluntarily placing their newborn child for adoption, there are 82 opting for abortion.

The reasons for the imbalance are many, but adoption never will overtake abortion unless we experience a radical cultural shift in how we think and talk about those who voluntarily choose adoption.

A recent study by the University of Texas at Arlington found that many birth mothers experience isolation, stigmatization and a lack of social and emotional support, both during pregnancy and after adoption.

We see this daily: Women are pressured and even coerced toward abortion, and shunned or outright mocked for choosing adoption. We recently served a woman who was kicked out of her family’s house for choosing adoption over abortion!

Adoption isn’t easy. If we want to see its numbers grow, we must celebrate and support those who choose this option.

While abortion is a one-time decision often made early in pregnancy, adoption is a choice that must be pursued day after day during months of pregnancy, through labor and delivery, while choosing an adoptive family and signing legal paperwork, and during the state-mandated 10-day revocation period.

Yet in most cases that months-long path is lined with people who encourage anything other than adoption: friends who insist, “You can’t give away your own flesh and blood. Just have an abortion”; co-workers who second-guess, “Don’t you love your baby?”; well-meaning hospital staff who assume something sinister must be going on to cause a pregnant woman to make such a painful decision.

One of our clients, Grace, explains her decision simply: “Adoption is something that you do out of love because you want something better.”

She is sometimes frustrated that those around her whisper about adoption and are afraid to talk openly about the decision she made.

Another birth mom, Katie, pushes back against the notion that birthmothers “give up” their babies because they don’t love them. “I love my baby so much,” Katie says. “I didn’t give her up; I let her go.”

What if we take their perspective at face value? What if there really are women and men who love their children enough to give them life, even amid difficult circumstances?

What if these couples sacrificially surrender their rights as parents for the good of their child? How should we treat those who have made this decision?

My wife and I are forever indebted to the birth parents of our three children. They are people to be respected and honored, as is every person God has created – even those who are hidden from our sight.

^

The writer is executive director of Covenant Care Adoptions in Augusta.

Val White 30 days ago

Adoption has never been easy or cheap.  Adopting families should be given scrutiny, but it seems sometimes adoption agencies would rather see kids grow up in foster homes (which sometimes turn out disastrous), or in an orphanage rather than facilitating a smooth transition to a loving, caring family. 


As far as "..mothers give up their children because they don't love them" - these hypocritical naysayers should be flogged.  It's hard enough for a single teen to make a decision like this without being made to feel guilty.  I wonder if those same critics would make her feel guilty for having an abortion.

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