Parenting, outsourced

For help in child-rearing, dialing 911 is the wrong call

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A Florida woman earlier this year called 911 and asked police to “come out and scare the (bleep) out of my kids.”

She may have gotten her wish, though not how she might’ve expected. Officers found her drunk and disorderly and arrested her.

As for the kids she couldn’t handle? They were ages 3 and 1.

In the end, the woman “probably did enough to scare her kids all by herself,” one news report observed.

It’s another sign of the times: With the implosion of both the nuclear family and the extended family that used to inform it with parenting skills – and with many of today’s child-producers being selfish, lazy, substance-abusing louts – parents sometimes turn to law enforcement authorities to outsource basic parenting skills.

It’s easy to call 911. It’s not so effortless to actually take the time and care to parent worth a darn.

The Chronicle’s Bianca Cain Johnson recently explored that phenomenon locally, finding out that it’s not uncommon for Augusta parents to call on police to try to scare their kids straight.

The Richmond County Sheriff’s Office is dutifully willing to go along with them to try to serve the public and help out – and, as in the Florida case, officers occasionally find problematic parenting that cries out for intervention. But officers don’t recommend the practice, and neither should anyone else. It may work from time to time, but likely more often it demonizes law enforcement in young, impressionable minds and lets a poorly equipped parent off the hook.

There are instances in which an outmanned mother may actually fear her child. By all means, call police.

But don’t use Richmond County taxpayers as a surrogate parent.

If your Day-to-Day Parents’ Toolbox is so empty that your only answer is to call 911 for some armed intervention, then the problem isn’t your child. It’s you.

Before you dial 911, try 211 – the local social service helpline operated by the United Way of the CSRA. A 211 operator can fix you up with parent skills classes, parent counseling services and even parent support groups.

There are parent-and-child activity groups, swimming lessons, parent/family educational involvement programs, books and other materials on child rearing – all available by simply dialing 211 on your phone.

In addition, if there are any underlying stressors affecting your ability to parent – or just your peace of mind – 211 is the gateway to social services providing assistance with money, food and relationship issues.

“There’s a variety of different things they can call about,” a 211 operator told us.

And if the problem has gone beyond your capacity to handle it, most jurisdictions offer “scared straight” sorts of programs, often through the sheriff’s department, that familiarize troubled youths with jails and other consequences of antisocial behavior.

The keys to not getting to that point are:

• set a good example yourself

• set reasonable but firm expectations for behavior early in a child’s life and stick to them

• understand that as the adult guardian of the television, the Internet, the pantry, and the locks on all the doors, you have leverage that can be couched in “promises” rather than “threats”

• even when disciplining or punishing children, there’s no reason to treat them with disrespect; in fact, they’ll respond better to tough love than mere toughness

• take the time to learn parenting tips from experts and other parents

Above all, see the big picture. Those little creatures you agreed to feed, clothe, shelter and mentor aren’t yours; they’re on loan from heaven. And they’ll only be with you a fleeting while. Enjoy them while you can, and know that the tough moments will surely pass.

Before you call on the police, call on yourself.

They didn’t sign up to parent your kids. You did.

Comments (33) Add comment
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soldout
1280
Points
soldout 09/09/13 - 01:35 am
6
1
excellent

This info can help a lot of folks. Nothing beats modeling good behavior in front of children. They always see and remember what you did and not what you said. Praying with your children is very powerful and them hearing you pray over them is actually changing things in the spiritual realm and you actually change the electrical system inside their body as your words have authority over them. That is why the Word says to speak to the mountain rather than to pray for God to move the mountain.

soapy_725
43678
Points
soapy_725 09/09/13 - 06:22 am
0
0
More of "it takes a village". Actually Hillary meant the STATE
Unpublished

More of "it takes a village". Actually Hillary meant the STATE

ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts
7848
Points
ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts 09/09/13 - 07:44 am
7
1
Children

Part of the problem is children having children, welfare and "many of today’s child-producers being selfish, lazy, substance-abusing louts "
I couldn't agree more!! Thank you Bianca for saying what needs to be said!!!! EBT, Section 8, Obama Phones (the term used by most on the program) all need to be restricted. I can understand for elderly, disabled and sick, but not for an able person to constantly entertain "Gentlemen Callers" and have multiple children by multiple sperm donors! When I hear in a public place, a woman bragging about her son who is 24, having 8 children by 6 different women, I know our system is broken.. It's not too hard to surmise that social security is being robbed to pay for these 8 children, because this sperm donor is seen wandering the streets and hanging on the corner with his buds!! Our nanny state is the problem, not the solution.

deestafford
27731
Points
deestafford 09/09/13 - 09:10 am
4
0
The disintegration of the family is the major contributor today

of the downward spiral of our culture. Many things have contributed to it starting with the good intentions and lack of common sense of LBJ's Great Society. The commenters above are right on target.

What is the solution? I think a primary help would be to bring back well run orphanages such as Bethesda Home for Boys in Savannah. There are many advantages to taking children out of the sorry environments in which many are being raised resulting in the continuation of the circle of poverty and crime. People may have a right to have children, but do they have the right to keep them in an environment that is unsafe in every sense of the word?

ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts
7848
Points
ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts 09/09/13 - 09:28 am
6
0
People may have a right to have children

I think the right should be removed it they have 2 and are not able to provide for them without Taxpayer assistance!! Also, father 2 children and fail to provide for them should be grounds for a vasectomy. It's cheaper than the money needed to support the offspring!!

ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts
7848
Points
ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts 09/09/13 - 09:30 am
2
1
Soldout

While praying may work for some, as a whole, it will not work. You have to have morals, something in which too many dole recievers don't have!!

seenitB4
87395
Points
seenitB4 09/09/13 - 09:34 am
3
0
coldbeer at 928am

I 100% agree with that...we have to think outside the box because this giverment won't.

Riverman1
84143
Points
Riverman1 09/09/13 - 10:48 am
4
0
It Takes a Village Mentality

When a society depends on government to raise children with the various programs, it results in these government raised children asking government for help when their own children are acting up. Calling the police to discipline their kids is no more than getting food stamps, public housing, free medical care, free school lunches and using public libraries.

dichotomy
33049
Points
dichotomy 09/09/13 - 10:57 am
5
0
I guess all of these touchy

I guess all of these touchy feely answers leave a good old fashioned paddling out of the question. Oh well, y'all keep doing those failed things. There are some of us still around that remember what worked and how to do it without causing physical or emotional damage.

By the time my son was 6 or 7 years old he had right good common sense. Before he did something he would stop and think "If I do this thing which I have been told that I should not do, will my daddy take his big flat hand to my bare little bottom and paddle it until snot runs out of my nose like he did last year". Oh, it was a terrible thing to behold.....took about 3, maybe 4 whacks, and I believe I actually had to do it ONCE.

Some would call that cruelty. My 42 year old son calls it guidance.

jimmymac
40020
Points
jimmymac 09/09/13 - 11:01 am
1
0
VILLAGE
Unpublished

Don't blame these lazy parents, blame the democrats. The parents are only doing what the democrats want and that's control every aspect of the family. They'll support, teach, indoctrinate, so they'll grow up dependent on the democrats. Insuring votes for a lifetime. Exactly what Johnston said when he got the "great society" bill pushed through congress.

chascushman
6653
Points
chascushman 09/09/13 - 11:33 am
3
2
"Our nanny state is the
Unpublished

"Our nanny state is the problem, not the solution."
Folks need to wake up this country is going down the drain. When this country collapses the liberals/progressives, democrats will look around in amazement asking 'what happened'.

deestafford
27731
Points
deestafford 09/09/13 - 11:36 am
2
0
We can't say parents should use common sense to raise their

children when they don't have any themselves...which is the case of more parents than we would like to admit.

chascushman
6653
Points
chascushman 09/09/13 - 11:46 am
4
2
"The disintegration of the
Unpublished

"The disintegration of the family is the major contributor today
of the downward spiral of our culture."
Most liberals and blacks believed LBJ was trying to help black folks but the joke was on them. LBJ was the 2nd most racist president in history 2nd to racist idiot in the WH now. Quote from LBJ, "I'll have those ******* voting Democrat for the next 200 years!"

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 11:47 am
1
3
Punishment Vs. mental problems

I wonder if "the experts" and being politically correct had not literally distroyed corpral punishment, how many parents would be calling the police then??!! However, kids having some sort of mental problems MUST NOT be over-looked!! In my opinion, if corpral punishment has not worked up untill a reasonable age, then; by all means; consider the possibilty of mental problems.

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 11:53 am
1
4
chascushman @ 11:46

"Most liberals and blacks believed LBJ was trying to help black folks but the joke was on them. LBJ was the 2nd most racist president in history 2nd to racist idiot in the WH now. Quote from LBJ, "I'll have those ******* voting Democrat for the next 200 years"

Here we go with the buying of Democratic votes again. Couldn't it be more to the truth that our country, as a whole, had seen enough inequality between the races? Just maybe there was enough compassion in Washington to do something to stop this terrible violence between the races?

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 11:58 am
0
2
Quote from the editorial

"parents sometimes turn to law enforcement authorities to outsource basic parenting skills"

Not to mention Medicaid, food stamps, welfare, and purposely using all of ones alotted unemployment comp.!!

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:02 pm
1
1
Quote from editorial

"It’s not so effortless to actually take the time and care to parent worth a darn"

Try spanking a kid out in public!! You will see, rather quickly, that society has taken away one of the best forms of disappline.

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:08 pm
1
0
Quote from editorial

"and, as in the Florida case, officers occasionally find problematic parenting that cries out for intervention"

Granted, the programs offered through the United Way are funded by controbutions. BUT I am quite sure there are many programs that are tax-payer funded!! To quote a friend of mine, "When will the tax payers GET TO STOP being other peoples' parents??!!"

chascushman
6653
Points
chascushman 09/09/13 - 12:10 pm
4
2
"Here we go with the buying
Unpublished

"Here we go with the buying of Democratic votes again."
Bledsoe, it is very obvious that ole LBJ knew what he was talking about, "I'll have those ******* voting Democrat for the next 200 years".

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:12 pm
2
0
Quote from editorial

"But officers don’t recommend the practice, and neither should anyone else"

There are enough legitimate 911 emergencys for the police to be called out on "STUPID" calls like this!! Government should have a way to punish these stupid 911 callers!!

chascushman
6653
Points
chascushman 09/09/13 - 12:13 pm
4
1
"Try spanking a kid out in
Unpublished

"Try spanking a kid out in public!!"
Bledsoe, punishment should be done in private.

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:16 pm
3
0
Quote from editorial

"A 211 operator can fix you up with parent skills classes, parent counseling services and even parent support groups"

We have come to a point that many young parents refuse to even use what is instictive for most women and men!! For ONE VERY BASIC THING, you don't have kids unless YOU can afford them!!

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:23 pm
3
0
Quote from editorial

"There are parent-and-child activity groups, swimming lessons, parent/family educational involvement programs, books and other materials on child rearing – all available by simply dialing 211 on your phone"

ALL OF THIS FREE HELP for things that should be instictive!! All of this, while illegals work there guts out and all they ask for is citizenship!! People REALLY WORKING for very little, and young parents getting everything for free!! WE HAVE GOT one he** of an up-side-down society!!

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:26 pm
2
0
Quote from editorial

"211 is the gateway to social services providing assistance with money, food and relationship issues"

This really says it for the kind of young parents who are in this country!!

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:30 pm
2
0
Quote from editorial

"“There’s a variety of different things they can call about,” "

Does this include "BABY SITTING" for the whole family including the parents??!!

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:33 pm
2
0
Quote from editorial

"most jurisdictions offer “scared straight” sorts of program"

Maybe this SHOULD BE the first program that is offered to the whole family!!

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:37 pm
3
0
Quote from editorial

"The keys to not getting to that point are"

THE VERY FIRST thing is not to have kids untill YOU CAN GROW UP and finantially afford them!! YOU REMEMBER, like back in the good ol' days!!

ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts
7848
Points
ColdBeerBoiledPeanuts 09/09/13 - 12:39 pm
3
0
“scared straight”

The only scared straight they understand is cutting off the freebies.

t3bledsoe
14290
Points
t3bledsoe 09/09/13 - 12:39 pm
1
0
Quote from editorial

"• take the time to learn parenting tips from experts and other parents"

Exccuse me, but should MOST of this be instintive??!!

Willow Bailey
20580
Points
Willow Bailey 09/09/13 - 12:49 pm
4
1
This is where the common

This is where the common sense comes in. First we must define the term "spanking". Sometimes, a quick public "bottom smack" is just what the doctor ordered for a young child. A toddler or preschooler isn't going to remember the offense later or understand a delayed reprimand.

Government is never the answer and most often the problem to begin with.

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