Standing up to bullying

Community should come together to stop abusive behavior among peers

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The school day can seem interminable at times. Ditto the school year. How far away can graduation look?

And if you’re being bullied in any way at school, doesn’t an escape seem even more light years away? When you’re being bullied and there seems no end in sight, the hopelessness can be suffocating.

The truth, as we adults know, is that time actually passes very quickly. We also know that at their core, bullies are cowards. And we know that, like Biff in the Back to the Future movies, the school bully will probably end up waxing our cars someday.

But how do you convince a middle-schooler or high-schooler of that? All they really know is their world, and it’s closing in on them.

A recent suicide of a middle schooler in Columbia County was blamed by some on bullying. Others say there’s not enough evidence. But even if there’s a chance that it was a contributing factor, how horrifying and sad. And how maddening that a young person with a life full of unknowable promise might resort to what is tragically a permanent solution to a very temporary problem.

Old notions of “horse play” and “boys will be boys” don’t wash anymore. They never should have. Assault is assault, battery is battery, and threats are still crimes. School grounds don’t grant thugs amnesty.

Even if it doesn’t rise to the level of a crime, no child should have to endure chronic intimidation in school or elsewhere.

Nor is bullying healthy for even the perpetrator. That kind of approach to others won’t serve him well in adult life, and could very well get him into deep trouble. And young men need to learn how to treat young ladies.

Bullying also can be a learned behavior – and the bully might actually be a victim at home.

The website stopbullying.gov – a joint project of the federal departments of Education, Health and Human Services and Justice – notes that bullies themselves are at elevated risk of future substance abuse, getting into criminal trouble and becoming abusers.

The damage to victims is much more extensive and worrisome. Stopbullying.gov lists the effects as:

• Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood.

• Health complaints

• Decreased academic achievement – GPA and standardized test scores – and school participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school.

And, of course, there’s the risk that a youth who has been terrorized might someday lash out: Stopbullying.gov says that, “In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied.”

As for any old claims that bullying is only human nature, we utterly disagree. Plenty of humans never give bullying the first thought. Besides, the pecking order, herd-culling, alpha-male assertion of dominance that seems to underlie much of bullying is also present in the animal world. By definition, that can’t explain the human being or human nature.

Our job is to rise above those instincts and

gravitate toward the higher aspects of what it is to be human.

While archaic excuses for bullying are happily falling by the wayside, the Internet and social media have only made our job of protecting kids that much more difficult. “Cyberbullying” is an entirely new frontier – and we’ve seen tragic cases in which victims have, indeed, taken their own lives as a result.

The challenge for today’s parents is therefore heightened: Your children may not be coming home with black eyes and bruises; if they’re being bullied online, the injuries don’t show. Experts recommend open and honest discussion with kids, and monitoring of their online and social media activities.

Despite a stubborn stigma, bullying can happen to anyone. Augusta-area Congressman John Barrow acknowledged at a CSRA Save Our Students one-year celebration last August that he was bullied as a youth.

Just look at him now. He’s one of the leaders of the strongest nation on Earth.

The woman behind the nonprofit CSRA Save Our Students, Annettea Mills – a kindergarten teacher at Gracewood Elementary in Augusta – says she’s $800 short of incorporating the area’s first bullying academy. Plans are for an eight-week course that the bullier, bullied and even bystander are sent to. The curriculum’s been picked out; the building is being looked for.

Mills lost her 19-year-old nephew, James Sterling “Jamie” Gillette Jr., in March 2011 in a shooting during a fight-filled party at the Belair Conference Center in Columbia County where he worked.

While the death appears accidental, and not directly related to bullying, the victim’s and shooter’s families have come together under CSRA SOS to work to reduce violence – starting with bullying. They’ll have a public rally at Cross Creek High School at 6 p.m. Feb. 28.

If two families separated
by a fatal shooting can come
together to stop bullying, so can we.

Comments (6) Add comment
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soapy_725
43676
Points
soapy_725 02/17/13 - 10:09 am
0
0
Fact of life. Bullying never stops. Grow up.
Unpublished

It doesn't end with school or the playground. It is in the workplace. It is in the church. While not all is physical, physiological bullying never ends. It is present in the nursing home. Manipulating others for your own self edification.

But hey, we live in the day when a "state grant" for everything is the solution to all problems. Pick a cause. Preferably with "child" in the name and write a grant request. Amazingly you become the Administrator of a 501 (c) 3 non profit with a six figure paycheck.

Evil hearts have only one cure. Bullies have an evil heart. The nanny state cannot cure their disease.

avidreader
3213
Points
avidreader 02/17/13 - 10:37 am
3
0
Is Bullying a Crime?

Several years ago we were posting notices in our school that read "Bullying is a Crime". I have always preached this mantra to my students.

The problem still exists, but it's a hard nut to crack considering prosecutorial matters. I'd like to see some statistics. This is all I am going to say.

daphne3520
950
Points
daphne3520 02/17/13 - 01:42 pm
0
0
ERRRRRR, IF the school Administrators/Teachers would
Unpublished

do something besides collect their largely UNEARNED paychecks, maybe, just maybe, some progress would be made in the Bullying Arena! And, if the Judges would show some "guts," in sentencing, ditto!

Darby
25577
Points
Darby 02/17/13 - 02:12 pm
6
0
My kids are out of school now....

I taught them to stand up for themselves and for other kids who had trouble with bullies. Bullying is and always has been a problem that laws or rules will never solve.

Good luck in the struggle.

Bizkit
31306
Points
Bizkit 02/17/13 - 02:40 pm
4
0
Bullies are pscyhotic coward

Bullies are pscyhotic coward losers. Most likely learned it from their psychotic loser parents. Sad thing is they will likely have a negative impact on the pscyche of a great kid with great potential. I know the kind of psychological and physical torture supposed "human beings" will take against another of their kind because of jealousy, envy, etc. All this breeds is more violence-with the bullied finally taking vengeance. There needs to be severe punishment of bullies-perhaps like the TV program where bullies get the crap beat out of them.

Little Lamb
45870
Points
Little Lamb 02/17/13 - 03:43 pm
3
0
Assault & Battery

From the editorial:

Assault is assault, battery is battery, and threats are still crimes. School grounds don’t grant thugs amnesty.

Unfortunately, many principals and higher school administrators do treat the school systems as sanctuaries from the consequences of bullying for the perpetrators. You see, if a principal calls in local law enforcement for an assault on campus, that principal will have to fill out a lot of forms and will have to answer questions from policemen; and may have to interrupt a future work day to testify in court. It's better for the school system to look the other way.

Little Lamb
45870
Points
Little Lamb 02/17/13 - 03:47 pm
2
2
Gun Violence

From the editorial:

Stopbullying.gov says that, “In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied.”

Do you think President Obama's hastily-created commission on gun violence, headed up by Crazy Uncle Joe Biden, even considered that government statistic when trying to come up with solutions? It doesn't seem likely, since all the media are reporting the only solutions to school shootings are to take away guns, ban scary-looking weapons, ban high-capacity magazines, and require "universal" background checks on person-to-person gun sales (without saying what a "universal" background check entails and how it will be enforced).

KSL
129204
Points
KSL 02/17/13 - 11:43 pm
0
1
None

Going on in my schools when I was growing up. NONE. It was not tolerated. Nor was any other misbehavior. It was an excellent place to get an education. Then Jimmy came along.

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