There oughta be a law

What if a statute could address the sheer stupidity of some lawbreakers?

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Lawmakers should consider adding a new category of crime to state statutes:
aggravated stupidity.

It would be charged whenever an act is so wantonly dopey that the perpetrator goes beyond
stupidly endangering or injuring himself and risks the same to others and their property. Conviction would come with stiff penalties and restitution to the victims.

We’ve got some poster children for the proposed law already, right here in good old Augusta.

How about the eggheads who tried to drive a pickup truck across the Sixth Street train bridge over the Savannah River about 5:30 a.m. Friday and crashed headlong into, and cracked, a trestle beam? Investigators said the two hospitalized men, James Ryan Anderson, 25, and his brother Todd, 37, couldn’t remember where they were going or where they’d been, and that beer cans littered the area of the crash.

“I think they honestly thought they were on the road,” a deputy said.

It clogged the morning commute, rerouted trains for 24 hours and required crews to pull the truck off the bridge and repair the trestle. They’re lucky they weren’t killed – the speedometer was stuck on 60 mph, the report says – and even luckier no one else was.

Or how about the genius who decided not just to run from deputies – an early indication of flawed thinking – but then reportedly ran over one during a traffic stop last Thursday night?

The 29-year-old driver – this being the final year, of course, in which he can claim youthful indiscretion – allegedly went out of his way, putting his car in reverse, to hit Deputy Dale Roberts. Thank heaven the officer wasn’t seriously injured. But Kimmie Gresham Jr. wasn’t finished, deputies say: The car left the scene and dragged a passenger 10 to 15 feet before hitting two other sheriff’s vehicles before crashing to a halt.

Then there’s 19-year-old Zander Wheeler, who allegedly did some $50,000 in damage stealing metal from six air-conditioning units at the Henry R. Brigham Community Center – which the people of Augusta taxed themselves to build as a haven particularly for kids and seniors.

Charges of criminal damage to property just don’t cut it, do they?

Of course, you can’t write such a law as we’re suggesting. But it’d be nice. We’re not just tired of the crime and recklessness. We’re fed up with the stupidity that’s making our streets unsafe.

Comments (9) Add comment
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Riverman1
86996
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Riverman1 01/24/12 - 04:13 am
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0
The good ole boys shouldn't

The good ole boys shouldn't be in the same category with the thieves and people running over cops. They were going fast because when you drive down a dirt road with ripples in it, if you go faster it's a smoother ride. That was a classic worthy of a country music song.

david jennings
624
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david jennings 01/24/12 - 07:48 am
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I guess its true, the

I guess its true, the constitution gives citizens the right to be as stupid as they want to be.

tinman
35
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tinman 01/24/12 - 08:30 am
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I have maintained for a good

I have maintained for a good while now that we Americans should bring back public whippings. That would, in my humble opinion, be a suitable punisent for aggravated stupidity!

seenitB4
90862
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seenitB4 01/24/12 - 09:25 am
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I could go for some public

I could go for some public whuppings!!

augusta citizen
9692
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augusta citizen 01/24/12 - 09:57 am
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I still wonder if he was

I still wonder if he was double-dog-dared. riverman, that going faster on a dirt road for a smoother ride really does work!

Riverman1
86996
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Riverman1 01/24/12 - 10:19 am
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Augusta Citizen, you know I

Augusta Citizen, you know I wasn't making that up. I drive dirt roads all the time and when they haven't been scraped and are dry, the ripples are bad. If you go faster the ripples smooth out and you have a good ride. You won't bust the shine bottles that way.

But you know what's the funniest thing about this whole matter? What the deputy said. “I think they honestly thought they were on the road,” a deputy said.

I bet that's absolutely true. Of course they were drunker than a possum who fell in the shine vat.

augusta citizen
9692
Points
augusta citizen 01/24/12 - 10:30 am
0
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Well see now, that's the

Well see now, that's the problem when you put the shine in mason jars instead of empty plastic soda bottles. Can't store it in the freezer that way either!

Sweet son
10741
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Sweet son 01/24/12 - 12:38 pm
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I drink my shine when it has

I drink my shine when it has aged about 30 seconds. It is really good that way. Don't have to worry about storage! LOL! Saw where the original General Lee sold for a mere $110,000. Article said they used 300 of them during the series. Those 'good ole boys' tore up a lot of cars.

madgerman
236
Points
madgerman 01/24/12 - 09:56 pm
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A/C shine dosen't freeze in
Unpublished

A/C shine dosen't freeze in the fridge. BTW when I was a kid in WVA we had a few shiners in the area, but the very best were women. That was back in the day of "party line telephones, we had one and were number six on the ring signal " and believe me if the revenewrs tried to get up that mountain, everyone would have known about it. But I never did meet anyone with a hot rod to transport the stuff.

madgerman
236
Points
madgerman 01/24/12 - 09:58 pm
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Sorry for getting off subject
Unpublished

Sorry for getting off subject but it appears that all the above posters are in favor of Sharia law, and rightly so.

dwb619
97055
Points
dwb619 01/24/12 - 10:41 pm
0
0
There is a legal term for

There is a legal term for such things. It's "felonious ignorance".

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