Warped image

Al-Qaida has a pile of problems -- but bad marketing isn't one of them

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And all this time we thought the problem with al-Qaida was its mission to spread terrorism throughout the globe and to kill anyone who didn't embrace its twisted interpretation of Islam.

Nope. In the eyes of Osama bin Laden, the problem with al-Qaida was poor marketing.

Since al-Qaida's founder was taken out by a Navy SEAL assault team earlier this year, U.S. officials have been poring over documents recovered at bin Laden's compound in Pakistan to glean more information about his criminal network.

One of the details to emerge is bin Laden's concern -- we are not making this up -- that his crew of international terrorists were victims of rotten PR.

Imagine! Al-Qaida is notorious for killing thousands upon thousands of people at civilian and military targets for more than 20 years -- and for some bizarre reason these guys just keep getting bad press!

That's how it all played out in bin Laden's twisted mind, anyway. The West was winning everyone's hearts and minds, and poor old al-Qaida just couldn't catch a break.

Bin Laden's solution? Rename al-Qaida. He thought that his terrorist group had a branding problem, and needed a new, sunnier, more modern name and image to attract more fans.

Some of his suggested name changes included Taifat al-Tawhed Wal-Jihad, meaning Monotheism and Jihad Group, and Jama'at I'Adat al-Khilafat al-Rashida, meaning Restoration of the Caliphate Group.

That "would not have been a good move," Mark Alison told the Chronicle editorial staff. Mr. Alison is an Augusta PR and marketing pro, and we asked him -- tongue firmly planed in cheek -- to spitball some ideas to soften or brighten al-Qaida's image.

Some of his suggestions for slogans:

- "No infidel left behind."

- "Have jihad enough?"

- "Al-Qaida; It's everywhere you want to flee."

- "Jihad me at hello."

Though we're poking fun at bin Laden's deluded vision to improve al-Qaida's image, the sobering bottom line is that no PR campaign is slick enough to remove the planet-sized stain of innocent blood spilled by bin Laden's warped followers.

Al-Qaida doesn't have a marketing problem. It's the product -- the product of deranged minds.

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Riverman1 07/02/11 - 06:51 am
"Drone Dodger

"Drone Dodger Rollers"

"Kiwanis International for Terrorists"

"OsamaCare for All"

harley_52 07/02/11 - 02:23 pm
Osama bin Laden's Al Qaida

Osama bin Laden's Al Qaida has a well deserved reputation for being a bunch of cowardly, vicious, heinous murderers. They earned it. Changing their name wouldn't make any difference, at least not for long. Temporary anonymity might help disguise them for a month or two, but their actions would soon give them away.

Al Qaida is but one of many, many radical Islamist terrorist groups around the world. There are many others. Some of their names are familiar, like Al Qaida, Hamas, and Hezbollah, while others remain relatively unknown, especially to Americans. The State Department has a list. You can look it up.

The bigger picture (and the one we should focus on) is that these radical Islamist terrorist groups have something in common with each other and with the religion of Islam itself. They share a common set of goals. World domination, the elimination of infidels (like you and me), and the establishment of a world-wide, sharia controlled caliphate. There is no room in this new world order for Jews, or for Christians, and there is no place for the lifestyle you and I have come to know and love.....namely FREEDOM in all its applications.

The methods for achieving those goals is what separates the radical groups from mainstream Islam. Radical groups have less patience than mainstream Muslims and therefore employ different tactics. The radical groups seek to use terror, mayhem, murder, and fear to demoralize and ultimately destroy us infidels. Mainstream Muslims are happy to do it more slowly and less violently through immigration, birth rates, and the integration of Muslims deep into the infrastructure of our society waiting for just the right time to spring the trap and complete their jihad.

What's the prognosis? Pretty dim, I'm sad to say. As a society, we've got our heads buried deeply in the sand. We don't want to see it. We don't even want to talk about it. To do so would make us the objects of volleys of criticism by the Political Correctness police. The PC police have become the accomplice of those trying to destroy us, wittingly or not. The liberals, perhaps for different reasons, share some of these same goals. To the liberals, both capitalism and democracy, including our form of democracy, are unfair and need to be replaced by some form of socialism or communism, with them in charge (of course). Whether it's a conscious alliance or not, liberals and Islamists together may well be successful at what no previous enemy has ever been able to do on the battlefield.

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