What happened to Masters?

I have some youngsters in my home who love to watch SpongeBob SquarePants on television. One of their favorite episodes is the one where SpongeBob’s nemesis Plankton tries to infect the residents of Bikini Bottom by placing some “jerktonium” into their Christmas fruitcakes!


From my viewpoint, it sure looks like Augusta National Golf Club Chairman Billy Payne and PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem have been fooling around with some of Plankton’s jerktonium during Masters Week, and somehow it has gotten into the Masters officials’ pimento cheese sandwiches!

First, a professional golfer who has admitted using an illegal performance-enhancing drug was allowed to play in this year’s Masters!

Then, on Friday afternoon, we all learned of a one-shot penalty assessed on 14-year-old amateur Tianlang Guan on the 17th hole, no less. Can’t these characters get why youngsters are gravitating away from golf courses in droves?

Finally, on Saturday morning, we all learned that Tiger Woods had been assessed a two-stroke penalty because somebody called in and reported that Woods did not drop his ball close enough to the original spot on the 15th hole. Can’t these characters get why about half the people who actually watch golf tournaments and buy golf clubs actually like professional golf?

Really, there has to be a point where the PGA simply disregards these call-ins that currently always necessitate a review by PGA officials after the fact. If somebody called in a perceived foul during the first half of the recent NCAA Final Four, would the NCAA even have taken take the call?

Billy and Tim should please get that jerktonium out of Augusta National and organize a tournament that we golfers, young or old, can be proud of!




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