A few weeks ago, rock ’n’roll legend and Republican superstar Ted Nugent, in a very public interview, said, “If Obama is re-elected, I will either be dead or in jail this time next year,” which is why people need to chop Obama’s and his followers’ heads off at the polls.
Nugent’s death threats present me with quite a conundrum. I’ve been a huge fan of his music since childhood. At one time or another I’ve owned all his albums, and would still like to see him in concert, even if he’s still ending his shows by shooting a flaming arrow at a picture of President Obama or Hillary Clinton, whom he especially hates.
I’m also a devoted supporter of Obama. So one of my favorite people wants to chop my head off for supporting one of my other favorite people. See? Conundrum.
The most ironic thing is how unnecessary this future violence against me will be. Obama and Nugent are equally wealthy. They are both comfortably entrenched in the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans. For instance, Nugent issues most of his violent statements from his 10,000-acre Michigan game and hunting preserve. Yet I and Obama must have our heads chopped off because Obama as president is causing Nugent to suffer as financially badly as the average person currently is in this country? I wonder if Nugent cares that I’m average, too.
I’m resigned to manning up and accepting suffering possibly the most ironic and unreasonable decapitation ever when Obama is re-elected by a landslide. Would my beheading actually seems fair and reasonable?
I really wish I were above-average, so Ted Nugent’s violent political philosophy would stop forever being too complex for me to get.