This column could get me into an awful lot of trouble.
Of course I can’t predict that for sure. Apparently, however, neither can some of the people I’m about to list.
Each year around this time, high-profile psychics issue their predictions for the upcoming year. Also each year around this time, I peek back to see what last year’s predictions were and whether they all came true.
I am never disappointed.
Admittedly, this is a guilty pleasure at the expense of people who claim they can see into the future. If these people genuinely believe they have psychic powers, I wish them no ill will.
But if they’re scam artists who prey on the gullible, they deserve every shred of mockery that comes their way.
Being informed to a superior degree about current events and trends can, I believe, give you an edge on predicting the future. But I’m not quite convinced that you can achieve the same results by absorbing psychic energy or however pro psychics say they do it.
So here are some psychics and the predictions they whiffed during 2013:
LaMont “Monte” Hamilton, says an Internet bio, “is an ordained minister, Reiki Master healing practitioner, registered hypnotherapist and holds multiple degrees in business, psychology and education, and has worked in the paranormal field full time for over 25 years.” He predicted:
• “Prince William and Kate will have a baby girl, (who) many will believe is the reincarnation of Princess Diana.” Except for the baby being a boy and the reincarnation part, he was spot-on.
• “A truce is seen in the Middle East before late summer after one or more spiritual leaders emerge in the region to bring stability to several countries now in conflict.” Bless his heart.
Vicki Monroe, who lives in Maine, “is considered to be one of the world’s leading psychic mediums whose gifts go far beyond basic spirit messaging ... ,” says her website. Good enough for me.
She predicted that the Boston Red Sox wouldn’t be in the World Series. I’m sure the St. Louis Cardinals are still hoping that would’ve come true.
Nikki, of Toronto, is known as the “Psychic to the Stars,” and boy, were her predictions ambitious:
• An earthquake of great magnitude wipes out Mexico City.
• A nuclear attack hits New York.
• Cuba and Puerto Rico become part of the United States.
• (her words) “Another cruise ship breaks in half.”
That last one confused me. Another cruise ship? I like to stay up on current events, but I didn’t hear about the previous cruise ship.
Judy Hevenly, says an Internet bio, “is a teacher, astrologer and writer whose forecasts have appeared in many publications and newspapers worldwide. ... Judy was also called in to work at the O.J. Simpson trial.” She said:
• Palestinians are “certain to win U.N. recognition as a state.”
• “Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani activist shot by members of the Taliban for arguing for equal education for girls in Pakistan, receives the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize for standing up for girls’ education in her country.”
Ms. Hevenly strikes me as a bit more shrewd. Her failed predictions stand out because they’re the kind of predictions some of us non-psychics would make because we know enough about the circumstances to make educated guesses.
The Palestinian state got nonmember observer status from the United Nations in 2012, so why not make the leap that official recognition isn’t too far behind? And Ms. Yousafzai has won just about every other humanitarian award for her bravery; her winning the Nobel would be a reasonable assumption, even if you don’t consult the spirit world.
We hear about the predictions that psychics make when they come true, but rarely do we hear about the ones that fall flat. I think we should, and more often. I look at it like this: If you bill yourself as a professional juggler, but you drop half the balls you toss around, I’d rethink calling yourself professional. Or even a juggler.