No one missed their calling

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

– H. L. Mencken

 

Thank goodness Election Day is here; maybe we’ll finally get some relief from those infuriating candidate “robocalls” that our self-serving lawmakers seem to think should be exempt from their joke of a “no-call” list.

Does anyone running for office really think it’s a good idea to have a smarmy recording “call” a person’s home and brag? If some consultant talked you into that, you’re too dumb to be trusted with my vote.

Besides, most people I know have turned down the answering machine ringer on their home phone and generally ignore those calls, figuring the people who matter will call your cellphone.

This has generally worked at my house, although we did miss a call from the vet notifying us that a prescription was ready for one of our beloved little white dogs.

He’s been growling a lot lately, so if you’re campaigning for office, I wouldn’t advise walking into our yard.

 

THANK YOU: To the really big lunch crowd at First Baptist last week. Good lunch. Nice people. And vice versa.

I told some of my old history stories from my “Kirby’s Augusta” videos, and Marvin Jones came up afterward and asked if I could look up the front-page fire story about his furniture store in 1979. It helped that he had the date, so I could e-mail him a copy of it.

I was also given a six-pack of Ale 8, the favored ginger ale of central Kentucky, and a favorite of my many, many Bluegrass cousins. It is the favored beverage of wedding receptions, backyard cookouts and even funeral wakes.

 

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO: Why is Augusta called the Garden City? I tell you in my latest YouTube video and explain the story of Julia Lester Dillon.

 

YOUR MAIL: A postcard from Doug, Mary and Evelyn reports the Aiken residents are having a great time in Haiti, Jamaica and Cozumel, Mexico. Meanwhile, Margaret Jewett Taylor and Norman Taylor send a card from Key West, Fla., where they toured the Hemingway Museum and Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville.

 

TODAY’S JOKE: It was only three days before the wedding. The bride called her mother with some bad news.

“Mom,” she said, “I just found out that my fiance’s mother has bought the exact same dress as you to wear to the wedding.”

The bride’s mother thinks for a minute.

“Don’t worry,” she tells her daughter. “I’ll just go and buy another dress to wear to the ceremony.”

“But mother,” says the bride, “that dress cost a fortune. It’s such a waste not to use it.”

“Who said I won’t use it?” her mother said. “I’ll just wear it to the rehearsal dinner.”

More

Kirby: Letter of reference from pastor can help a lot

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education.

– Theodore Roosevelt

I always tell... Read more

Kirby: Looking back on a historic blast from the past

The wheels on the bus go round ...

– Child's song

City traffic was disrupted and thousands of commuters... Read more

Kirby: Boozing, bicycling offered as cold cures

To stay ahead , you must have your next idea waiting in the wings.

– Rosabeth Moss Kanter

 ... Read more

Drivers have come a long way

No one wants advice – only corroboration.

– John Steinbeck

The amazing thing about driving a... Read more