Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Kirby: You're only as old as you think

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Youth is a blunder ... Old age a regret.

Video: Kirby's Augusta
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– Benjamin Disraeli

What can I say? My crowd was pulling for Fred Couples.

Yeah, I know. He turns 55 this year, but that’s younger than I am. I still think of Fred as that kid from Houston who won the Masters in 1992.

I don’t think of him as old, and apparently neither does anyone else.

AARP The Magazine (I read it for the jokes) did a poll and found that 63 is considered “old” by people in their 40s.

People in the 50s said 68 was “old.”

People in their 60s said 73 was “old.”

People in their 70s said 75 was “old.”

I guess people in their 80s said, “OK, you got us.”

BRIDGE 100: My next Kirby’s Augusta video deals with our beloved Butt Memorial Bridge, which celebrates a century today.

I know some people laugh about its name, which includes a word I wasn’t allowed to say as a child.

But times have changed and rear ends become more prominent, several successfully running for elected office.

In Augusta the name honors a local fellow worth honoring – Archibald Butt, who died heroically when the Titanic sunk.

Though we revere the Butt name, elsewhere in Georgia it has raised questions.

In fact, a decade ago, some people in Georgia’s Butts County began to lobby for a change. This smallish county between Atlanta and Macon gets most of its attention because it is the site of the state prison system’s death chamber.

Executions bring national attention, and national attention brings people who think a county whose name is slang for a rump is worth a chuckle or two.

I also can share that there is a precedent for a Georgia county to change its name. More than a century-and-a-half ago, the Georgia Legislature established near Columbus a Kinchafoonee County, an Indian name for a local creek.

Almost immediately, everyone realized “Kinchafoonee” is hard to spell. Then other Georgians began to make jokes about.

Embarrassed, the new county leaders asked the Legislature for a new name, and someone suggested the then-popular U.S. Sen. Daniel Webster, which is what it remains today.

For now, Butts County has apparently resisted a similar name-change urge.

Hindsight, I guess.

TODAY’S LAST GOLF JOKE: A struggling golfer gets ready to tee off on a long par-3 over water when he hears a voice above him say, “Have faith, my son. Hit your new Titleist Pro V1”

Emboldened, the golfer grabs the ball, tees it up and then takes one mighty practice swing.

“Never mind,” the voice says. “Hit a range ball.”


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