Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

If you're reading this, then you know I didn't win the lottery

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Nothing is said that has not been said before.

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– Terrence (185-159 B.C.)

As is often the case when a big lottery payoff looms, my wife sent me out the door Tuesday with cash and instructions to buy us (her) a winner.

And because we reported on Sunday the best (luckiest) places to find gambling success, that’s where I was told to go.

So I did.

Apparently lots of husbands were under similar orders because the parking lot at Bodie’s Shell off 13th Street was so full I had to park at the Huddle House and walk over. I plunked down my money for those Devil’s party favors, and brought them home.

And if you’re reading this, then you know I didn’t win.

VIDEO: My Kirby’s Augusta video is up talking about the last great Broad Street Christmas in 1977. I cleverly inserted a math mistake in it. See if you can find it.

CONDOLENCES: My prayers to the family of the Rev. Roger Stone Jr., whose funeral was Wednesday. I heard him preach about 20 years ago and remember telling my wife on the way home, “I like that guy!”

When she asked why, I said something like “More Peter than Paul; more James than John.”

I got a chance to pay him back in 2004 when his beloved Mann Memorial United Methodist Church invited me to speak at his surprise birthday party. He responded with good humor, pointing out that he had reached the age where you spend more money on candles than cake.

I last saw him six weeks ago at the funeral for his wife, Ann, and their heavenly reunion was no doubt a joyous one.

YOUR TRAVELS: The holidays are not slowing some of you down.

Dick McCoppin, of Augusta, sends greetings from Hawaii, where he is on a seven-day cruise.

Having fun in the Bahamas were Cynthia Cogar, Betty Newman, Charlott Horne and Ron Krzywda.

Pat and Wayne Fuller, of North Augusta, sent a card from Guatemala. Tricia Hughes passed one along from Chattanooga.

And Leah Ronen, the executive director of the Augusta Jewish Federation, sends a card from Israel, where she participated in the General Assembly of the Jewish Federations of North America.

TODAY’S JOKE: My son’s home from college, so this story from Everett Fernandez seemed appropriate:

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education?

As the policeman, who also had a child in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, “I have just one question for you: Where were you going to get the rest of the money?”

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