Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Kirby: You'll crumble like a cookie following this recipe

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During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them.

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– Jared Padalecki

We have asked for your favorite Christmas cookie recipes.
If you have one you’re proud of, send it by e-mail to james.folker@augustachronicle.com; or fax it to (706) 722-7403. No call-ins, please.

Naturally, I thought I would offer my Kentucky bourbon cookie recipe that I first shared about 20 years ago.

It’s pretty simple. Here’s what you need:

1 tsp. sugar

1 or 2 quarts of bourbon

1 cup dried fruit

brown sugar

1 tsp. soda

1 cup butter

2 large eggs

1 cup baking powder

3 juiced lemons

1 cup of nuts

Before starting, sample bourbon to check quality.

Now proceed.

Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.

Check bourbon again.

It must be just right. To be sure bourbon is of proper quality, pour one level cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can.

Repeat.

Now, with electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 seaspoon of thusar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure bourbon is still alrighty. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary.

Add leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat til high. If druit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with drewscriber.

Sample bourbon again, checking for tonscisticity.

Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt (really doesn’t matter).

Sample bourbon.

Sift ½ pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar – or whatever color you can find.

Wix mell.

Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Pour mess into boven and ake.

Check burban again and bo to ged.

TODAY’S JOKE: Here’s a joke because Frank Toole thought I should have one on Sunday, too.

A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site, and the owner read the card, which said, “Rest in Peace.”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking place, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.’ ”


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