Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

The Empty Stocking Fund isn't so empty anymore

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Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

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– William Arthur Ward

First, let me offer a big thank you to the Grovetown Lions Club for its sizeable donation to The Chronicle’s Empty Stocking Fund.

It was most generous, and a lot of children will have a merry Christmas because of it.

They asked me to come by Wednesday night for the check presentation during a break in their Turkey Shoot off Old Louisville Road, and I was glad to do it.

And if your group or organization would like to contribute to this worthwhile charity, let me know. I’ll come out and help pick up your generosity.

WHAT A STAR: One of the benefits of driving out to the turkey shoot in a rural part of Columbia County on a cold, clear night in November is the chance to look at the stars.

Magnificent!

You forget just how many there are until you get out in the country away from streetlights and cities.

I pulled my binoculars out of the car trunk because I was seeing star clusters I had never seen before.

Wonderful.

CHRISTMAS SONGS: Everett Fernandez says an Atlanta teacher wrote down these pupil attempts at Christmas carol lyrics:

“He’s makin’ a list, chicken and rice.”

“Noel. Noel, Barney’s the king of Israel.”

“With the jelly toast proclaim ...”

“Olive, the other reindeer.” (All of the other reindeer.)

“Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say.”

“In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is sparse and brown.”

“You’ll go down in Listerine.”

“Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay.”

“O come, froggy faithful.”

YOUR MAIL: Kathleen Munch, of Augusta, sends a postcard from Buffalo, N.Y., where she’s “having a great time.”

She went to an aunt’s 80th birthday.

Barry and Lynn Martin, of Jackson, meanwhile, found Hilton Head Island “sunny and 80 degrees. Enjoying a beautiful week!”

TODAY’S JOKE: Jim Hope, of Sylvania, shares this one:

While sports fishing off Melbourne Beach, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.

Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?”

“Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!”

“Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of the gators?”

“We didn’t do nothin,’” the beach bum said. “The sharks got ’em.”


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