Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Annual guide to weather, trends is out

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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

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– Mark Twain

The first day of November has arrived, and our weather should see heavy rain.

At least, that’s what my Old Farmer’s Almanac predicts.

The annual guide to weather and trends and other esoterica is out, and it expects today to be damp – a forecast it conceived months ago.

Other predictions for the year ahead?

Well, rain, then sunny and cool for Thanksgiving Week. Some rain and cool temps for Christmas (but no snow, so a “White Christmas” is out).

And Masters Week in April has the almanac expecting thunderstorms and warm days.

Overall, its weather experts believe 2014 will see many extremes.

A colder-than-normal winter with chances of snow across the Southeast in early and mid-February and late February.

Other highlights?

What about a comet? Comet ISON was spotted heading our way last year and should be easy to spot in a couple of weeks.

Or not.

Comets, as the almanac points out, have a way of not delivering, proving again the adage that comets are like cats:

Both have tails and do what they please.

The latest almanac also reports on the latest trends across America. They include:

• Beer-flavored jelly to spread on pancakes.

• Swimming classes for dogs.

• DNA tests for dogs (to determine what mix is in mixed breeds.)

• Digitizing old letters along with old photos to preserve them.

Finally, there is a chart in which the almanac asked an astrologer to select the best days of each month in 2014 to undertake certain tasks. It’s fairly detailed, but let me summarize by saying that the best day in January to begin a diet, quit smoking or wean children is Jan. 19.

That might explain the generally failure of Jan. 1 New Year’s resolutions.

TRAVEL REPORT: In addition to Vermont, New Hampshire and New York, Bobby and Diane Broome, Cyndy and Paul Freeman and June Gay spent time in Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania.

In addition, they saw both Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park. The travelers report that Kennebunkport was particularly beautiful!

TODAY’S JOKE: An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything in the world.

The woman often ended the arguments by stating loudly, “I’ll dance on your grave. I’ll dance on your grave!”

Well, sure enough, the man died first.

And, at the reading of his will, the attorney announced his last request – he wanted to be buried at sea


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