Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Judging dogs provided a learning experience

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I have a tough time judging myself.

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– Joan Jett

I might be old enough to qualify for most senior discounts, but not a day goes by that I don’t learn something. Take Sunday.

I was one of the judges at the annual CSRA Humane Society Pet-A-Fair.

One of the categories was an award given out to the pet with the longest tail. A tape measure was provided, and good sport that I am, I did the measuring.

That’s where I learned the lesson of the day: Dogs do not like you grasping their tails and stretching them out while trying to get a reading off a tape measure.

Most of the dogs merely tucked their tails and rolled away. One growled menacingly, and I took the hint and just used a length estimate, which did not win the prize.

I imagine I would have reacted the same way.

GO DOGS: Let me also congratulate Dakota, the Best in Show overall dog winner. I talked to Dakota’s human, Diane Bryant, afterward and asked the secret of raising such a beautiful and well-behaved animal from shelter castoff to Blue Ribbon stardom.

“I’d like to say it was me, but it’s the dog,” she admitted – a tale that doesn’t need measuring.

SPEAKING OF DOGS: Char­lie Williams points out why some men have dogs and not wives:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask: “If I died, would you get another dog?”

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup. And finally,

14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half your stuff.

TODAY’S JOKE: A fellow walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to act as if nothing had happened.

The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, “Kind of hot, wasn’t it?”

“Nope,” the fellow answered through clenched teeth, “it just doesn’t take me long to look at a horseshoe.”

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nocnoc
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nocnoc 10/29/13 - 07:17 am
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Great Article

as usual Mr. Kirby writes a fun article to read.

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