Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Crossing road took a bit of luck

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Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools, and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.

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Thornton Wilder

Sometimes we amaze ourselves.

Take last week. I’m crossing the street, keys in hand, heading toward my car at the end of a long day.

Oops. The light changes and here comes the traffic.

I start to run, but the sudden lurch causes my smart (not that I qualify) phone to suddenly bounce clear of my shirt pocket and escape into very thin air.

The cars are starting to move toward me. Seconds pass and old skills kick in.

I deftly make a basket-catch, cupping both hands and cradling the phone with both hands. But there’s a problem. In using both hands, I had to drop my car keys in the street.

More seconds pass. The cars are getting really close.

I briefly consider leaving the keys on the pavement, but it’s one of those push-button units that are as expensive as they are convenient.

I resort to an athletic solution, planting my left leg then swinging my right in a quick, soccer-style punch kick that will send the keys to the safety of the sidewalk.

It is only as my head comes up with the arc of my leg that I see I have kicked the keys right at an open storm drain culvert.

I don’t breathe … but the key chain sails a bit to the right of the yawning sewer mouth. By about 10 inches, I miss having to fill out an insurance claim in which I admit intentionally kicking my car (and house and work) keys into an open drain.

If someone ever says to you, “It’s sometimes better to be lucky than good,” correct them.

Lucky’s always better.

YOUR MAIL: Your postcards are really filling the mailbox.

Paul and Diane James, of Grovetown, sent a delightful package with a collection of Michigan, Wisconsin and Minnesota cards. In a nice letter about their travels, they described a visit to the famous Cumberland Gap, which my ancestors once traveled through the Tennessee mountains.

“It has been returned to its wilderness state and you can only view the gap from the Pinnacle Overlook,” they write.

Elizabeth Copeland, of Au­gusta, sends our first card from Louisiana. She was in New Orleans at the Pilot International Conven­tion.

Bill Wood, of Hephzibah, “couldn’t find a postcard but Trudy and I spent (two days) in the western North Carolina mountains celebrating her birthday and our 55th wedding anniversary. … Weather and temperature, great … Life is good!”

TODAY’S JOKE: I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so I could drink the cool coffee quickly.

At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teenage girl came to the window looking frustrated.

“I’m having a problem,” she announced. “The ice keeps melting.”


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