Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

This doctor is in -- my corner

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Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.

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– Hippocrates

There’s nothing wrong with me. And I can prove it.

Every year, my dear mother pesters me until I go to the doctor to get a physical.

Every year, I try to avoid such exams because I feel pretty good, and besides, waiting rooms are full of sick people who might change that status.

Eventually, however, I give in, make the appointment, get examined and am told by a professional that everything is in working order.

This year, I told him about my mother’s persistence and he offered to help out.

He composed her a note on his doctor pad and signed it.

“Billy is in fantastic health,” he wrote.

(I told you there was nothing wrong with me.)

YOUR MAIL: Nothing wrong with traveling, either.

Gwen and Bob Young were in Dallas-Fort Worth for the opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library and sent a postcard from the event.

“Awesome!” they report. “Many parties and great reunions with like-minded friends. Plus … five living presidents!”

Greg Brooks, of Evans, sends a card from the Air Force 50th Anniversary Quilt at the National Museum of the United States Air Force.

“This is the coolest museum I’ve ever been in,” Greg wrote. And we all know that Greg is well-traveled.

INTENSIFIED TIDE: Someone shared this interesting insight into college football:

• The University of Alabama beat Arkansas and the Razorbacks fired their coach.

• Alabama beat Tennessee and the Vols fired their coach.

• Alabama beat Auburn and they fired the coach.

• Then Alabama beat Notre Dame and the pope resigned.

TODAY’S JOKE: Here’s an old favorite shared by Lowell Fritsche: A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a game warden in Texas.

“May I see your fishing license, please?” the warden said.

“No, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don’t need them. These here are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish?”

“Yep. Once a week, I bring these fish to the lake and let ’em swim round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take ’em home.”

“Prove it!” the warden said.

The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After a few minutes, the warden said, “Well?”

“Well, what?” the redneck asked.

The warden asked, “When are you going to get your fish?”

“What fish?” asked the redneck.


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