Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Garages offer new view of economy

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You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

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– Cecil Baxter

OK, I missed the memo. Apparently last weekend had Clean Out Your Garage Day. In driving through the neighborhood Saturday afternoon, I noticed about every 10th house seemed to have the accumulation of weeks/months/years of household storage in its respective driveway while someone inside the garage was sweeping/mopping/pressure washing the residential cave.

I was encouraged.

“Counting people cleaning out garages is better than counting all the neighborhood for-sale signs,” I reported to my wife.

“Don’t be too sure,” she said, not looking up from her copy of Reality Illustrated magazine. “Why do you think they’re doing it?”

NICE LUNCH: I probably would have cleaned up my own garage except I was spending an enjoyable Saturday lunch as guest of the ladies at Lutheran Church of the Resurrection on Greene Street.

They were delightful and attractive company, and thoughtful enough to send home to my wife an assortment of their excellent desserts … some of which lasted until I got home.

BELATED BIRTHDAY GREETING: For Marguerite Moore Stoughton, who celebrated her 105th birthday April 11 with family and friends at her Augusta home.

Her family says Marguerite likes to paint her fingernails bright red, enjoys a glass of wine most days and often joins others in song, especially The Yellow Rose of Texas, about her native state.

A little bit of ice cream never hurt anyone, either, she says, because “you’ve got to enjoy life, and it’s later than you think.”

TODAY’S GOLF JOKE: Here’s one shared by Jim Hope, of Sylvania, Ga.:

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.

As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman pulled up beside him and asked: “Did you tee off on the 16th hole about 20 minutes ago?”

“Yes,” the golfer responded.

“Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?”

“Yes. How did you know?” he asked.

“Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?”

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded:

“I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”


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