Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

The robo-calls keep coming

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Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

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– John Quinton

Days before the election and my offer still stands: Any politician who can pass a law that prohibits those “robo-calls” from campaigns to my house will always get my vote.

You are wasting your time!

More importantly, you are wasting my time.

I voted early. My wife voted early. My son voted absentee from his college dorm.

P.S. Don’t come into the yard to ring my doorbell, either. I’ve got a good sprinkler system and I’m not afraid to turn it on.

AUGUSTA BASEBALL: Wendell Hofman points out I missed someone in my column on Augusta’s World Series connections. The mother of San Francisco’s superlative catcher Buster Posey is a Westside High School grad who used to live in the Montclair subdivision.

Her name was Traci Tippens and her father, Jack, was a gastrointestinal surgeon at Fort Gordon.

They used to live on Chatham Road, Wendell reports.

ALZHEIMER’S EVENT: The Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s will be held Saturday at Augusta Common. Registration begins at 9 a.m. and the walk begins at 10 a.m. Pets and strollers are welcome.

The walk is part of a national event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer’s care, support and research. For more information, visit www.alz.org/walk or call (706) 731-9060.

TRICK OR … It’s official. Adults have taken over Halloween. I say that because AAA announced earlier this week it had joined with Bud Light in the Tow to Go program. “Don’t let Halloween turn into a drunk driving nightmare,” the press release said.

What used to be kids and candy is now adults dressing up in costumes and heading out to party.

Oh well. I suppose adults dressed up like vampires make interesting DUI booking photos.

TODAY’S JOKE: Here’s one shared by Billy Cooper, of North Augusta,

The store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, Ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer, who was walking out the door, and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never, ever say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?”.

The clerk said, “Rain.”


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