Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Kirby: What's wrong with the same old place?

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I don’t like nostalgia unless it’s mine.

Video: Kirby's Augusta
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– Lou Reed

Here’s a story for our times:

A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner.

Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6 and they could ride their bikes there.

Ten years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was really cheap, the band was good and there were lots of cute guys.

Ten years later, at 35 years old, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because it was right near the gym and if they went late enough in the evening, there wouldn’t be too many whiny little kids.

Ten years later, at 45 years old, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big and the young waiters were so attentive.

Ten years later, at 55 years old, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at
the Ocean View restaurant because the food was reasonable, the wine list was good, there were windows that could be opened
in case of a hot flash, and fish is good for their cholesterol.

Ten years later, at 65 years old, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and it had an Early Bird Special.

Ten years later, at 75 years old, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy, the restaurant was handicapped-accessible and the place even had an elevator!

Ten years later, at 85 years old, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

TODAY’S JOKE: Here’s one from Lowell Fritsche:

It seems a minister’s young daughter was watching her father getting ready for church one Sunday morning.

She asked him, “Daddy, why do you pray before giving your sermon?”

“Well,” the minister said, “I ask him to give a good sermon.”

She frowned, then asked, “Why doesn’t he?”


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