I can make them voting machines sing “Home Sweet Home.”
– Earl Long
One of the Election Day staples of newspapers past used to be an exhortation for people to “get out and vote.”
The writer (or Ann Landers) could then trot out a list of history’s great questions that were all settled by a single ballot.
In 1649, one vote caused Charles I of England to be executed.
In 1776, one vote gave America the English language instead of German.
In 1845, one vote brought Texas into the Union.
In 1923, one vote gave Adolf Hitler leadership of the Nazi Party.
Now here’s the thing. All those claims above are false. Such lists were created by twisting around a few facts to make a point.
Personally, I think if you have to be reminded to go vote, you probably should stay home and leave the heavy lifting of democracy to others.
YOUR TRAVELS: Bill and Mariska, of McCormick, S.C., are having a cool time in Alaska, where it is 54 degrees and they “hope to see Sarah Palin, soon.”
Dan and Lisa Armstrong, of Evans, also send greetings from Alaska, where they are “celebrating 30 years of marriage!”
J. and J. White, of Graniteville, send a card from Iowa and a couple from Wisconsin, one featuring the trolls of Mount Horeb, which bills itself as Troll Capital of the World.
Leon Ray sends “greetings from Halden, Norway! Temps here are about 50 degrees cooler than those in Augusta. Prices here are much higher than thought. Gas is $12 a gallon; Beer is even worse – $13 a pint! I am walking sober, enjoying the cool temps!”
Leon and Mitzi Hayes had an “awesome time” in Bar Harbor, Maine. Chiles Fiske, of Augusta, sends a card from Canada and remarks that “a high of 60 degrees beats 100-degree heat in Augusta.”
Todd, Gywn and Melanie Snider are watching Lakes Michigan and Erie and confide that “we’re the only Southerners around here.”
Longtime travelers Sandra and Shirley Johnson, of Augusta, send greetings from Myrtle Beach, S.C.
About 1,800 miles from home, Jack Burke, of Thomson, sends a card from Arizona, where he is visiting his daughter Colleen and his four grandchildren.
Trish Hubbard, Reggie and others say it’s nice and cool at Spruce Knob, W.Va.
TODAY’S JOKE: It seems a young family had invited their pastor and his wife for supper one night. They asked their young son to set the table.
But when the group sat down to eat, they noticed there was no silverware beside the plate of the preacher’s wife.
“Sweetheart,” his mother said, “why didn’t you give her a fork and spoon?”
“Because, Mom,” the boy replied, “Dad said she always eats like a horse.”