Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

French itinerary in your travel plans?

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Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey.

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– Fitzhugh Mullan

I looked up from the newspaper the other day and told my wife, “I’m moving to France.”

“For the toast or the fries?” she asked in her usual engaging tone.

“Neither,” I said firmly. “For the retirement. They just lowered the age to 60.”

But she said no, so I’ll have to settle for a postcard from France. Anybody?

Which brings me to Joseph and Lorinda Fournier. They did not vacation in France but did go to the great American Southwest and were thoughtful enough to send 11 postcards.

The first came from Arizona, where the temperature was 100. Other cards followed: the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon in Utah, Zion Park, the Utah state Capitol (made with Georgia marble). They saw snow (in June!).

They drove from Salt Lake City through Idaho, and then to Jackson Hole, Wyo. “Did you know that ‘hole’ is the area and ‘Jackson’ is the real name of the city?” they asked.

I didn’t.

They took a raft trip down the Snake River with the temperature in the 40s and the wind blowing.

They saw Old Faithful in Yellowstone and the Buffalo Bill museum in Cody, Wyo. The Crazy Horse Memorial and Mount Rushmore were next on the agenda.

“The best part of the trip was last night when Joe hired a taxi to take us to a remote area so I could see the stars,” Lorinda wrote. “It was amazing. Joe is ‘Mr. Romance.’ ”

What can I say, Lorinda? He’s probably been to France.

QUICK QUIZ: Charlie Williams asks these questions.

• If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

• Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

TODAY’S JOKE: Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Capt. Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100 percent record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.

Rather than ask about this, the captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’ sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, “If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6,000.

“Now,” he concluded, “which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?”


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