Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.
– Satchel Paige
We never had a chance.
I knew it would rain on Christmas Day because it always rains here on Christmas Day. If it were colder, the Augusta region would be assured of a white Christmas almost every year. But it’s not, so we get rain. Cloudy, drizzly, crummy rain.
I looked back through the microfilm archives of the South’s Oldest Newspaper and found account after soggy account of rain on Dec. 25. Even the Old Farmer’s Almanac called for it.
WOODROW TRIVIA: Wednesday is the 155th birthday of former Augustan and U.S. President Woodrow Wilson. Here’s our question. When “Tommy” Wilson was growing up in Augusta, what position did he play on his Lightfoots baseball team?
THANKS: My sincerest gratitude to everyone who sent get-well greetings, treats, e-mails and presents to my beloved little white dog, who underwent knee surgery earlier this month.
He even got a miniature protective neck collar from “Selwyn,” which was a lot more comfortable than the megaphone “funnel hat.”
All that’s off now. His surgeon is pleasantly surprised at his rapid recovery.
“He has a large support staff,” I confided.
(Thank you, all.)
YOUR MAIL: Doris and Marty Charnock sent a postcard from Pawleys Island, S.C., and report:
“Went to Ripley’s Aquarium in Myrtle Beach. Over 50 Christmas trees – one for each state and Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. The tree for South Carolina was the largest.”
Evelyn Casey’s postcard from Krakow, Poland, finally made it to Augusta. The postmark indicates it was sent a few months ago.
“We visited the salt mines,” she wrote. “We climbed many steps then came back to a broken elevator at the hotel, so we asked for pallets on the floor rather than walk the steps, but they said ‘No!’ ”
TODAY’S JOKE: It was the week before Christmas, and a married couple had been shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized her husband had “disappeared.” The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cellphone and demanded: “Where the HECK are you?”
“Darling,” said the husband smoothly, “do you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it, and I didn’t have money that time and said, ‘Baby, it’ll be yours one day.’ ”
The wife smiled and said, “Yes, I remember that, my love.”
“Well,” said the husband, “I’m in the bar next to that shop.”
TRIVIA ANSWER: Second base.