Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Keeping track of keys is main problem with automobiles

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When the solution is simple, God is answering.

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– Albert Einstein

We’ve got a problem in the family automotive area – one vehicle is down to one key.

No one’s sure what happened to the other keys. We had them last weekend, but now they’ve vanished, disappeared, vamoosed.

Well it used to be, that was no problem. Any number of hardware or “dime” stores could make you a copy of a car key.

I always had several hidden about.

But now, they can’t.

Keys have to come from automakers in what I am sure is some sort of enhanced security feature. They’re also expensive.

So, we’re taking the cheap route and hoping to make the lone key less losable.

To achieve this, I have taken a page from the old service station restroom practice of attaching it to a very large paddle-shaped piece of wood that should be almost impossible to lose because it cannot easily be placed into a pocket or purse or drawer because it’s so big.

“You know,” I told my wife as I admired my new “key chain,” “I’m a pretty clever guy.”

“Cheap, too,” she added in a tone that I think betrayed jealous admiration.

GOOD EATS: My thanks to the Young at Heart group at Lake Park Baptist Church for a delightful visit last week. As usual, Dot Jones was an excellent dinner companion and Susan Russell laughed at most of my jokes. Young people are definitely my kind of crowd.

The food was also very good. And they had so much dessert, it required a separate table.

To be fair, I think I sampled two pies and three cakes and a Boston cream pie, which is kind of both.

BATTLING BOO: I am wearing a white plastic “BOO STRONG” wrist bracelet these days to keep in mind “Boo” Albert, beloved “little white dog” of Bret and Debbie Albert. Boo’s health is failing and the bracelet is a reminder to me that others love their animal companions as much as I do.

BILL’S BOOK: Longtime Chronicle colleague Bill Baab will be signing his book on Augusta’s old dairies from 2-4 p.m. today at the Augusta Museum of History downtown.

TODAY’S JOKE: Here’s one shared by Everett Fernandez.

Two guys are talking about their boss’s upcoming wedding. One says, “It’s ridiculous, he’s rich, but he’s 93 years old, and she’s just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?”

The other says, “Well, we have a name for it in my family.”

“What do you call it?”

“We call it a football wedding.”

The first asks, “What’s a football wedding?”

The other says, “She’s waiting for him to kick off!”

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Taylor B
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Taylor B 11/12/11 - 09:52 pm
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Bill, a key for a VW is $350.

Bill, a key for a VW is $350. I have lost a few too, buddy. They belonged to other people, which makes the situation that much worse...

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