Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

Kiwanians might be up to bat

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Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.

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-- Sam Keen

If you go to the GreenJackets game against Charleston tonight (game time 7:05 p.m. at beautiful Lake Olmstead Stadium) be sure to look out for the Kiwanis Club members. When I spoke at their luncheon last week, they were all excited because they'd pretty much sold all their Vidalia onions and decided they would meet at the ballpark tonight.

I asked Barry Whitney whether he got to throw out the first pitch, and he said they would probably ask him to catch the first two innings, too.

That would leave Brian Mulherin on the mound, I suppose, so Charleston had better be wearing their helmets.

SUMMER TRAVELS: Speaking of baseball, Allen and Glenda Hardin, of Thomson, and Charles and Jan Colvin and Ron and Lynn Duncan, all of Evans, send a postcard from Chicago where "we are first-time visitors enjoying all the places to see. Of course, we have to see an afternoon game at Wrigley Field (Chicago vs. Houston). Weather is very warm (upper 80s) and sunny. Deep dish pizza is good!"

Tommy and Evelyn Price and Kim and Blake Parrish, of Evans, say hi from Destin, Fla., where "the weather is gorgeous. The waters are a beautiful emerald green and the sand is sugary white. We love it ... been coming here for the last 28 years! Plenty of good seafood, too."

Sandra and Shirley Johnson are at Jekyll Island. Tom and Sandy are having a "surprisingly good time" in Nebraska. David Jay Daitch sends a card from the Richard Nixon Library and Birthplace in Yorba Linda, Calif.

And the Hodges group -- Pat, Boogie, Jo Ann, Laifa and Karen -- send a card from Disney World and ask whether they can get trips to the Magic Kingdom in the annual summer beach vs. mountains competition.

(Speaking of Disney, did you know who handled the TV introductions when Walt Disney opened California's Disneyland in 1955? It was future President Ronald Reagan, who did so at the request of his friend Art Linkletter.)

TODAY'S JOKE: Speaking of travels, here's a story from Richard Keely :

Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, a man decides to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. He goes in the washroom. The first stall was taken so he went in the second stall. He had just sat down when he heard a voice from the next stall.

"Hi there, how is it going?"

OK, he's not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. But he didn't know what to say, so finally he offers, "Not bad."

Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?"

The man is starting to find this a bit weird, but he hesitates a moment, then says, "Well, I'm going back to Colorado. ..."

Then he hears the other person say all flustered: "Look, I'll call you back. Every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."

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