-- James Bovard
Like many of you, I will head to the polls today, ready to do my civic duty in the ballot booth.
I know I could have voted early and avoided the crowds or lines or inconvenience, but I don't.
There's a reason.
Frankly, I'm afraid something might happen if I vote too soon.
I'm afraid the candidate who got my support will either end up saying something really stupid, or getting pulled over for DUI while clutching someone's crimson underdrawers.
Considering the current lack of discretion demonstrated among public figures, I might still be waiting to cast my vote until very late today, just before the polls close.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Can you believe a candidate dropped out of the race because of a lack of campaign funds?
Anyone who stops spending just because he's out of money doesn't belong in Washington anyway!
WHO WENT WHERE: Paul and Diane James , of Grovetown, were in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan celebrating their parents' 70th anniversary. (Congratulations from me, too.)
Sarah and Mark Woyak were visiting family in the Chain O' Lakes in Wisconsin. They also saw the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame.
Rhea Markowitz spent a long weekend in Boston visiting family, too. When rain canceled beach plans, they said they visited the U.S.S. Constitution -- "Old Ironsides."
Sandra and Shirley Johnson are on the Blues Highway in Tennessee and Mississippi.
Jane Edmunds sent a really cool 3-D postcard from the Titanic exhibit in Pigeon Forge.
Meg and Dick send a card from Bermuda. Doris Blalock and Randall Blalock , of Edgefield, were in Washington, D.C.
Cal and Adam Williams , of Augusta, are at the Hood River Inn in Oregon, but it's anything but chilly. "It's 100 today," they write.
Cecilia Trizna-Vargo , of New Buffalo, Mich., sends a card and asks for prayers for her friend Bobbie Hudson in Wrens.
Ruth in Martinez sends "greetings from the Jersey shore!"
Finally, Dorothy Farr , of Thomson, made her own postcard from a snapshot of the sun setting on Thurmond Lake. "No place is so beautiful," Dorothy writes, and I won't argue.
Home often is.
MARVELOUS MOTTO: Frequent reader Seth Benson , of Millen, writes about New Hampshire.
"I noted with some interest," he wrote, "that you had not received a postcard from New Hampshire.
"Interesting since the motto of this state is, to my mind, the embodiment of how many of us Americans feel about our country.
"You may not be aware of said motto, but it is 'Live free or die!' and it is on every one of their car tags.
"We Yankees know where we are coming from."
TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one from Frank Allen .
Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test.
The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"
"It's 274," comes the reply from the first man.
The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," the second man replies. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "OK, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," the third man says.
That's great!" the doctor says. "How did you get that?"
"Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."