Sylvia Cooper

City Ink columnist and correspondent for The Augusta Chronicle.

Georgia Regents University's new name means a lot

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Just in time for Halloween, the powers that be stuck the word “Augusta” on the end of Georgia Regents University, not as part of the official name, mind you, but for branding purposes. So officially speaking, this rose by any other name still does not have Augusta in it.

How unfortunate it is that the Georgia Board of Regents dug in its heels, and, despite the best efforts of the Save the A committee, wouldn’t budge on reconsidering the honor they bestowed upon themselves. So somebody came up with a “compromise” designed to save face.

GRUA President Ricardo Azziz blogged that it was “a truly Solomonic decision.” I’m sure he knows all about Solomon because he’s so wise himself, having alienated half the population of Augusta in less than three years.

“So what is the difference between a brand name and a legal name?” he asks in his blog.

“One you see … everywhere … on logos, apparel, marketing materials, and the like. The other one you rarely see outside regulatory and legal circles.”

Would the one you rarely see outside regulatory and legal circles be the one you see on your diploma?

GRUA, THY NAME IS WOMAN: Mike Aufiero e-mailed that “grua” means “woman” in Albanian, “crane” in Spanish and Portuguese and “hearth” in Norwegian.

W-CRW-KGCWLBRFSEU: Several years ago, The Chronicle employed brilliant linguist Richard Noegel as a writing coach to teach the reporters some of the finer points of grammar, such as the difference between “whether” and “if.” We became fast friends and still communicate occasionally. I e-mailed him last week asking him to give me his take on the GRUA situation.

Richard responded by saying it’s clear, even to the most casual observer, that Azziz was brought to Augusta to be a hatchet man and suspects it might be the governor who brought him here.

“What is his name?” he asked. “Oh, Lord, I’m having a bona fide senior moment. Anyway, you know who I mean. Deal! Yes-Deal. As in ‘let’s make one.’ Reminds me of the time when that story about Bernie Madoff first broke, and I couldn’t believe my ears! People had actually given money to a guy on Wall Street whose name sounded like ‘made off.’ But they did. And he did. And you see, that is why you and I could have gotten ourselves elected King and Queen of Someplace-or-Other and had our very own Kingdom by the Sea if we had just thought about it and run campaign ads with a tractor on ’em. People are such willing victims.

“Anyway, ‘they’ bring Dear Leader Azziz here to the Garden City to, shall we say, ‘prune the shrubbery?’ ” he continued. “So he goes to hackin’ and rippin’ and prunin’ and shovin’ and pretty soon, the whole damn place is unrecognizable. And it now has a passel of names that would break a ventriloquist’s jaw! And he ain’t stopped yet! To paraphrase William Faulkner, ‘once a fool, always a fool, what I say.’ ”

Then, quoting St. Paul, Richard asked: “What shall we then say to these things?

“Well, here’s how I figure it. They mean to move all teaching and instruction and anything and everything that could reasonably be called ‘teaching’ to Athens. And what will be here in Augusta is research. That – and I know that this will not have escaped your attention – is the word they keep tossing about like the cow tossed the dog in The House That Jack Built. Only we’re going to end up with something like ‘The Nameless University That’s Located in a Nameless City That Dear Leader Built.’ Lord, I just hope it rhymes so that we’ll have at least a snowball’s chance of remembering the name, whatever it turns out to be.

“Research. Oh! I came perilously close to leaving out that thrilling adjective ‘world-class.’

“Yes, I predict that, in the end, it will be called ‘World-Class Research in a Well-Known Georgia City With a Lot of Brand Recognition and a Famous Sporting Event University’ (W-CRW-KGCWLBRFSEU). Anyway, that gets my vote, for what it’s worth.

“Now, I’ll grant you that it will be hellish to have to embroider W-CRW-KGCWLBRFSEU on caps and jackets and things, and it will take some doin’ to fit it onto letterhead stationery and bumper stickers and window decals and whatnot, but I really don’t see who could object to it, do you?

“True, true, I am the first to admit that it doesn’t have ‘Augusta’ in it and it doesn’t ‘Save the A,’ but it does have ‘Georgia’ in it, and I do feel that somebody – somebody – has to put his foot down and settle this thing for good and aye. And it looks increasingly unlikely that a Deal will be struck that satisfies all parties.

“So that is my ‘take’ on the whole shoddy comedy. Teaching will go to Athens; World-Class Research – for profit (did I neglect to mention that?) – will stay here.

“Augusta = World-Class Research for Profit

“Athens = all teaching”

BOO WHO?: The city’s Halloween party was supposed to take place at the new convention center this year, but because they haven’t been able to agree on a caterer or management agreement it’s going to be at Regency Mall.

The downside of that is they don’t have a management agreement with the mall either. And there’s no electricity out there, so the party will be extra spooky this year. Commissioners were supposed to bring refreshments, but they haven’t been able to agree on a caterer.

Despite the snags, dozens of city and state officials are expected to attend.

Just as he did last year, Mayor Deke Copenhaver will issue a proclamation, proclaiming Oct. 31 as Halloween. He will then say a prayer asking God to forgive everybody there for making such a big to-do over a pagan holiday.

Richmond County Democratic Party Chairman Lowell Greenbaum and the executive committee that canceled Sheriff Ronnie Strength’s retirement reception because he endorsed Republican sheriff’s candidate Freddie Sanders have RSVP’d and will come as a pack of donkeys.

Republican 12th Congressional District candidate Lee Anderson, dressed as Honey Boo Boo, will arrive on his tractor with the Board of Regents, Chancellor Hank Huckaby, Azziz and the Save the A committee riding the manure spreader.

Azziz, dressed as a magician, will perform magic tricks. First he’ll make the Medical College of Georgia disappear; then remove the word “Augusta” from all city limit signs, public buildings and golf courses, including Augusta National.

Everybody at the party will be talking about a brand and where they can go to get one.

City Administrator Fred Russell will be handing out resumes.

Democratic sheriff’s candidate Richard Roundtree will be handing out “Get Out of Jail Free” cards and skeleton keys to the men and motel keys to the women.

Sanders will be trying to handcuff Roundtree all evening and force him to debate.

Tax Commissioner Steven Kendrick will come as a bridegroom because that’s what he is.

Woody Merry will come as the Mad Hatter.

The mayor couldn’t decide on a costume because he didn’t want to make anybody mad.

Housing and Neighborhood Director Chester Wheeler will be signing people up to buy houses in Laney-Walker/Bethlehem with 100 percent forgivable loans and Obama phones.

Because of the economy, several Augusta commissioners will wear the same costumes as last year. (See the Oct. 29, 2011, City Ink for descriptions.)

Comments (35) Add comment
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Riverman1
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Riverman1 10/27/12 - 08:17 pm
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0
Yup, not much difference in

Yup, not much difference in GRU-Augusta, GRU-Athens, GRU-Savannah, GRU-Columbus. But the whole concept of the brand and legal names is interesting. So it could be called anything as long as the GRU legal name is left on a few documents. I still say the undergrad portion (ASU) has to be differentiated from the medical school part somehow. What better way than to call ASU...well, ASU? Of course official documents will remain GRU as Solomon said.

seenitB4
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seenitB4 10/27/12 - 08:59 pm
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2
Yeh...Sylvia is probably right...

“Anyway, ‘they’ bring Dear Leader Azziz here to the Garden City to, shall we say, ‘prune the shrubbery?’

Augusta you have been pruned & mooned...

Insider Information
4009
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Insider Information 10/27/12 - 09:07 pm
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2
Tariq Azziz has been

Tariq Azziz has been reincarnated and become the dictator of MCG-ASU

Cynical old woman
1111
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Cynical old woman 10/27/12 - 09:13 pm
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Deal or no deal

He lost my vote over ths fiasco. I believe this is exactly where it's headed....Athens ...teaching. Augusta...research (how could that be moved after the guy was discovered with the monkeys lose and his pants down).

KSL
134305
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KSL 10/27/12 - 09:54 pm
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Augusta

The second largest metro in GA has no leadership.

star
646
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star 10/27/12 - 10:06 pm
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Sylvia

YOU ARE THE BEST - You always tell it like it is. Thank you.

Dixieman
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Dixieman 10/27/12 - 10:42 pm
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It ain't over because

Georgia is going to lose the lawsuit filed by Regent U. of Virginia and will then be subject to an injunction (court order) not to use "Regent" or "Regents" in its name.

Little Lamb
46903
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Little Lamb 10/27/12 - 11:09 pm
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1
10,000

Hey, I just realized I passed a milestone — 10,000 points.

- - - for whatever that's worth - - -

Insider Information
4009
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Insider Information 10/27/12 - 11:41 pm
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@ LL

You haven't heard?

If you hit 10,000 points, Azziz will tack your name on to the end of GRUA.

It won't be official, but it will be used for all marketing purposes.

rebellious
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rebellious 10/28/12 - 12:40 am
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1
Surreal

This renaming Fiasco is beyond belief and has turned into a comedy of errors to rival the TEE center shenanigans from the Bethlehem compromise to today. I continue to be amazed at the complete and total tangle our public "servants" create for our good. It reminds me of the old saying, "with friends like that, I don't need enemies". Or maybe more apropos from Pogo "We have met the enemy and he is us"
At any rate, both projects above are "FUBAR". Sean if that is not allowed. please don't delete the whole post.

As for Halloween costumes, may I proffer the following suggestions, branching beyond even local politicians. And I invite other posters to contribute, because some days if we don't laugh at the absurdities of reality, we might just alll go crazy.

-Obviously, Dr Azziz as Eddie Munster
or maybe Milburn Drysdale
- Robert Cheek (8th District BOE part-time candidate) as his brother Andy Cheek (or Vice Versa)
- John Barrow as a Southern Gentleman Moderate
- Deke Copenhaver as Mayor Pike from Andy Griffith
- Joe Biden as the Uncle Louis off Christmas Vacation
- Barack Obama as an effective President of the United States
- The 10 commissioners as the caste of 12 angry men (I know the math doesn't work, but they won't notice)
-Fred Russell will dress like "the man behind the curtain"

These may not make the best sense, but I had fun with it.

Techfan
6461
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Techfan 10/28/12 - 03:50 am
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You missed the obvious of

You missed the obvious of Paul Ryan as Ediie Munster.

OpenCurtain
10049
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OpenCurtain 10/28/12 - 06:15 am
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Learned something new

Initially was going to write the State Attorney General letter,
Then a lawyer friend called and said write the
Georgia Office of the State Inspector General(OIG) first.

"It is the OIG responsibility to uncover fraud, waste, abuse and corruption..."

The OIG work's like the IG in the Army, NOT-politically controlled by law or at least outside the political change of abuse.

I'm just going to provide the Media releases for his review.

I was also told the OIG is BIG on investigating the misuse of State owned, rented or funded Aircraft and contracted services.
(eg. a $45K phony / wasted survey)

OpenCurtain
10049
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OpenCurtain 10/28/12 - 06:18 am
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Tech-Fan - Paul Ryan as Ediie Munster - nope.

Check out a picture of a local notorious GRU president.
All issues a aside it is seriously is a much better match with Eddie at 60.

LillyfromtheMills
13901
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LillyfromtheMills 10/28/12 - 06:57 am
5
2
Rebel-Halloween

Azziz as the chainsaw massacre
John Barrow as Davy Crockett
Barack Obama as his brother George

seenitB4
90703
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seenitB4 10/28/12 - 08:09 am
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Rebel you make this place fun...:)

Elect Sanders as Sheriff or you could have the same mess in that department that you have with the naming & tee center debacle.

Riverman1
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Riverman1 10/28/12 - 08:31 am
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Ha..Funny Posts

Mine were so good I was told if I used some of them again, I would be “personally banned” by the moderator. I’m not sure how it’s any different if he personally bans you or the Chronicle does. But without giving the names of who they are so I’m not banned, see if you can figure it out. They come from all forms of government and law enforcement in the CSRA.

Caspar Milquetoast (At the very top)
Captain Kardashian
Fatty Arbuckle
Sheriff Bulbous (not Strength)
Fake Countertop Lady
The Penguin (Think who walks around at Commission meetings with his feet slewed out like a penguin)

Riverman1
86855
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Riverman1 10/28/12 - 08:39 am
6
1
About Barrow's Commercial

If you want to see how Barrow plays the middle, he puts out a commercial supporting gun owner rights, then connocts a story that his granddaddy used the pistol to stop a lynching.

When it's time for Lee Anderson to give his new member of Congress speech, I want to see him drive that tractor with the engine revved up real high, black smoke coming out the stack, right through the doors of the Capitol, do a wheelie or two, have Michelle Bachman jump on the back and drive away like Evil Knivel did at the sorority house.

LillyfromtheMills
13901
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LillyfromtheMills 10/28/12 - 08:48 am
2
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:) Halloween

seenitB4 as Deja vu

Riverman1
86855
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Riverman1 10/28/12 - 08:55 am
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I hope Dixieman is Right

Let me just say that Barrow has nothing on Dixieman with his legal education so I hope he's right about the lawsuit making them drop the regents name. He would know.

omnomnom
3964
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omnomnom 10/28/12 - 09:02 am
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this season's trick or treat

this season's trick or treat courtesy the georgia board of regents

Help Us All
9
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Help Us All 10/28/12 - 10:28 am
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Save our.....

As a good friend, Jennie, told me: 'Save Our A' would have been more effective. Was the "A" to be saved A Seese? Gesundheit!

LillyfromtheMills
13901
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LillyfromtheMills 10/28/12 - 09:55 am
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RM-I can just see Sean saying

as my Mama said - the very idea - go to your room :)

Riverman1
86855
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Riverman1 10/28/12 - 10:13 am
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Lilly, I have stayed in my

Lilly, I have stayed in my room so much the old Chronicles have been used for other things and are blowing around with my autumn, open window, like Chinese kites doing battle.

Augusta resident
1368
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Augusta resident 10/28/12 - 10:22 am
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satelite

Sounds like GRU Augusta is a satelite college campus, Like USC Aiken. Maybe it'll end up UGA Augusta. Might as well just get an online degree from Phoenix. Education connection. Catchy tune.

Riverman1
86855
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Riverman1 10/28/12 - 10:34 am
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0
Augusta Resident...ya got

Augusta Resident...ya got it!!!

Riverman1
86855
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Riverman1 10/28/12 - 11:40 am
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LL Is My Number One Poster

LL said, "Hey, I just realized I passed a milestone — 10,000 points.

- - - for whatever that's worth - - -"

LL, I know you really don't believe the point system has any basis in reality. You are my number one poster. I have been told how to make my points go higher after I was kicked off one of many times. I have noticed those with high points are about as followed as a mosquito control spray truck putting out that fog. I've also been deleted a thousand points for a post that many at the AC said was acceptable. It's best not to take the whole system too serious.

Discussionstarter
495
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Discussionstarter 10/28/12 - 11:42 am
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Please, let's move on to more important things.

The 'A' campaign failed. The 'T' Center is going to cost taxpayers $1 million a year in losses. It took years and alot of dollars to straighten out the parking garage land rights: it is going in the same direction for the management contract of the 'T' Center. The city has more trash and derelict houses than ever. Crime statistics are not good. Selling city property for cents on the dollar; another financial loss to taxpayers. Let's be honest.... Augusta needs new leadership!

rebellious
21295
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rebellious 10/28/12 - 01:20 pm
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Starter

I don't believe anyone other than Countyman disagrees with you. The problem is the intelligence of the electorate. I mean we are actually having a debate about the merits of Roundtree over Sanders for Sheriff! And why...because people refuse to educate themselves on candidates qualifications, past performance, personal ethics and political leanings.

So today....like the guy with the flat tire who pulls out his spare and realizes it has no air in it...we are shaking our heads and applying levity lest we all go to the window, throw open the sash and scream "I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore"

rebellious
21295
Points
rebellious 10/28/12 - 01:21 pm
2
0
Is the

glass half empty or half full? I believe the glass is too large!

Fiat_Lux
15902
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Fiat_Lux 10/28/12 - 05:29 pm
0
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It wouldn't have been so bad

if the "compromise" had been Georgia Regents University of Augusta.

Sylvia's prediction for the future wasn't one I have ever considered, but it sure sounds plausible. It accounts for these horrible men's willingness to throw millions of dollars at us while they spit in our faces.

Somehow, it does feel like they are "saving" the name "Medical College of Georgia" for something.

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