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GHSU lab tech found drunk, partially clothed, police say

2 lab monkeys found outside cages

Friday, Aug 17, 2012 2:53 PM
Last updated 9:56 PM
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A Georgia Health Sciences University lab tech was jailed this week after he was found intoxicated with his pants down in a campus locker room, a GHSU spokeswoman said Friday. Two lab monkeys were found outside their cages, authorities said.

Coley Mitchell  SPECIAL
SPECIAL
Coley Mitchell

According to a GHSU Police Bureau incident report, a co-worker discovered Coley Mitchell, 32, partially unclothed in a locker room in the Sanders Research and Education Building about 10:30 p.m. Monday.

Campus police said Mitchell, a Lab Animal Services technician, was intoxicated and seated in a chair with his pants half-down.

The spokeswoman said two monkeys were found outside their cages in the lab but were confined to the room.

Mitchell was booked into the Richmond County jail Monday on charges of public intoxication.

A spokeswoman said Mitchell was still employed by Georgia Health Sciences University on Friday.

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HighSociety
1840
Points
HighSociety 08/17/12 - 02:57 pm
16
0
You can't make this stuff up!

You can't make this stuff up! Wonder if he was spanking the monkey...

KSL
120959
Points
KSL 08/17/12 - 02:58 pm
8
1
Bizarre

Bizarre

Dixieman
12834
Points
Dixieman 08/17/12 - 03:08 pm
7
1
"'N tha firsht monkee 'n I

"'N tha firsht monkee 'n I got married lash nite, so the second one got jealous, see, an' then it kinda go outta control..."

harley_52
22064
Points
harley_52 08/17/12 - 03:09 pm
8
1
Were The Two Lab Monkeys....

...undressed, or fully clothed?

Anonymous4540
18
Points
Anonymous4540 08/17/12 - 03:11 pm
16
0
This guy was obviously.....

......very upset about the name change.

harley_52
22064
Points
harley_52 08/17/12 - 03:13 pm
7
2
It's Probably Just....

...a symptom of all the angst, uncertainty, and pressure on GRU employees because of the horrid new name.

I'm sure the psychological counseling specialists will have their hands full.

HighSociety
1840
Points
HighSociety 08/17/12 - 03:23 pm
10
0
This guy with a monkey

This guy with a monkey sitting in his lap would be the perfect mascot for the new name.

Riverman1
79153
Points
Riverman1 08/17/12 - 03:29 pm
8
2
I'd like to link this to Azziz somehow

I'd like to link this to Azziz somehow, but I can't think of a way.

tanbaby
1293
Points
tanbaby 08/17/12 - 03:30 pm
0
0
see what happens when they
Unpublished

see what happens when they start changing names??? people go crazy !!!

SpiderLily
78
Points
SpiderLily 08/17/12 - 03:44 pm
8
0
Drudge

I have submitted to Drudge Report. Hopefully, we can go national. Our Wal-Mart toe licker made it. Certainly, half clothed monkey hijinks should get us there.

MD2013
101
Points
MD2013 08/17/12 - 03:46 pm
5
1
I know

He was obviously celebrating the new name and decided to go back to work to show his dedication to the school. After all, it's hard work, dedication, and a well recognizable national name that will ultimately lead this university to be a top 50 research institute! He was just trying to do his job extra well!

TheBigBonk
116
Points
TheBigBonk 08/17/12 - 03:51 pm
1
0
Monkey's age
Unpublished

Were the monkeys over or under 18?

kiwiinamerica
924
Points
kiwiinamerica 08/17/12 - 04:06 pm
0
0
Monkey business!
Unpublished

Note that the charge is public intoxication.

It is not illegal to be partially naked and alone with a consenting primate.

Newsflash
1881
Points
Newsflash 08/17/12 - 05:53 pm
8
0
A source close...............

A source close to Dr Azziz says no monkeys were harmed and the monkeys involved are in line for the coveted Regents Medal for courage under less than ideal conditions.

palmetto1008
9782
Points
palmetto1008 08/17/12 - 04:13 pm
7
0
Dr. Azziz has had quite a
Unpublished

Dr. Azziz has had quite a week. This was not cool.

Fiat_Lux
14820
Points
Fiat_Lux 08/17/12 - 04:41 pm
7
1
This is exactly what the pay scale at MCG attracts.

What a dork.

Do we really want to stop being a provincial backwater or not? Anybody paying attention over here?

Huge, dramatic plans for world-class research, right?

Think about it.

Tullie
2930
Points
Tullie 08/17/12 - 04:49 pm
3
3
I don't know

I probably would have to drink in order to do testing on those monkees. Can you imagine having to look in their little faces?

Makes my stomach hurt to think about it.

burninater
8847
Points
burninater 08/17/12 - 05:45 pm
6
0
A hundred bucks says that

A hundred bucks says that when he passed out drunk his pants were on and the monkeys were caged ...

So the question is, did a YouTube video get posted before his coworkers realized this prank went public?

burninater
8847
Points
burninater 08/17/12 - 05:52 pm
6
1
Because there really aren't

Because there really aren't many things funnier than screaming monkeys running all over a passed out dude with his pants half off.

thecraftman
115
Points
thecraftman 08/17/12 - 05:52 pm
2
0
The Bettles

Didn't The Bettles Say ( ain't no monkeying around)?

thecraftman
115
Points
thecraftman 08/17/12 - 05:58 pm
5
1
I guess

I guess the monkeys got (gru) ed

thecraftman
115
Points
thecraftman 08/17/12 - 05:58 pm
1
1
I guess

I guess the monkeys got (gru) ed

Willow Bailey
20579
Points
Willow Bailey 08/17/12 - 06:03 pm
6
0
I'd just say, the monkey's

I'd just say, the monkey's started it.... Azziz could identify with that logic.

Insider Information
4009
Points
Insider Information 08/17/12 - 06:19 pm
6
0
Tariq Azziz Excellence!

Under Tariq's leadership, we are already a world-class institution!

It is only under Tariq's leadership that we can expect such superb work.

Aceman
111
Points
Aceman 08/17/12 - 07:22 pm
5
0
GRU Crazy?

Or just lonely? One of those [filtered word] stories

corgimom
27461
Points
corgimom 08/17/12 - 08:13 pm
2
2
He's on hold, there will be

He's on hold, there will be more charges against him, those monkeys are state property.

I can only imagine how the friends at 401 are taking this one.

soapy_725
43553
Points
soapy_725 08/17/12 - 08:21 pm
0
0
It rivals the Augusta gerbil
Unpublished

It rivals the Augusta gerbil fiasco. LOL LOL

Once the name is affixed to all building we can all GRU-UP.

soapy_725
43553
Points
soapy_725 08/17/12 - 08:24 pm
0
0
Dignity has left the building
Unpublished

Where can we go but to the Lord?

member
67
Points
member 08/17/12 - 09:06 pm
3
1
Augusta Chronicle you dropped the ball on this......

A great opportunity for your first headline with "Georgia Regents University". Wouldn't it be better to read something like "Azziz hire at Georgia Regents University"..........

Insider Information
4009
Points
Insider Information 08/17/12 - 09:14 pm
1
3
Cue the music!

"You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."

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