Bill Kirby

Online news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

I get lots of e-mail in every language

Spam, spam, spam

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The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

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– Albert Einstein

I don’t know about you, but I am beginning to get computer e-mail “spam” in foreign languages.

Some of it appears Arabic. Some Spanish.

Even Chinese.

At first I deleted the stuff immediately because I thought it might be dangerous.

It could be some sort of virus that would destroy my computer – or worse, be a secret message from the enemies of America that could link me to international spies and certain prosecution.

But there was so much of it that I eventually began to suspect it was the usual junk.

So here’s what I did.

I copied the e-mail message header into the Google “translator” fuction to see if it would tell me what it said.

That’s how I found out that one e-mail for “Une couverture sante au meilleur prix, quel que soit votre âge,” actually said: “Health coverage at the best price, whatever your age” in English.

Another e-mail that featured Chinese characters was a vacation travel solicitation:

“Changping hotel network to Chang Ping came to this, enjoy travel agencies have cheaper prices.”

So junk mail, it seems, is the same in any language.

MORE JUNK: I also got an e-mail telling me that I had been “selected as a candidate for publication in the prestigious Top 100 Leaders of 2012 Magazine.

Naturally, my hopes soared.

“After confirming your acceptance,” the e-mail said, “your space within the magazine will be reserved. Our professional writers will then craft an articulate, interesting and informative biography that will be both a treasured legacy and an impressive addition to your professional resume.”

Of course, I was thinking, it’s about time someone around here realized my talent and achievements.

But as I was figuring out how many copies to order, an editor sitting next me in the newsroom was reading his e-mail and suddenly said aloud, “Hey, I’ve been selected to appear in Top 100 Leaders of 2012 Magazine! Hah. What a joke!”

He read the e-mail and everyone laughed, so I kept quiet and laughed along with them.

TODAY’S JOKE: Here’s one sent in by Everett Fernandez.

A woman working as a pediatric nurse had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children.

One day, she entered the examining room to give 4-year-old Lizzie her needle.

“No, no, no!” she screamed.

“Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior.”

With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you!”


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