Bill KirbyOnline news editor for The Augusta Chronicle.

History has its lighter moments

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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

– Tom Clancy

History’s a funny thing.

It’s also tragic, serious, sad, dangerous and deadly.

But I like the funny parts because the good guys win, nobody gets hurt and we all can laugh at someone else’s foolishness.

I’ll try to share a few such incidents from Augusta’s storied history at 12:30 p.m. Wednesday at the Augusta Museum of History’s monthly brown bag lunch.

I am prepared to tell these:

• The mystery woman in golfer Gene Sarazen’s hotel room the night before his famous “double eagle” Masters Week victory.

• Gen. Sherman’s offer to return to Augusta and burn down the town to correct a Civil War oversight.

• The newspaper’s 1960s expose uncovering a local nudist camp.

• A Depression-era funeral disrupted when the deceased sat up in her coffin.

If you have the time, drop by for lunch. I might be making pimento cheese sandwiches.

The Brown Bag History Series is an educational lecture series provided monthly by the Augusta Museum of History and an ideal lunchtime break for downtown professionals, retirees and students. The lectures are free to museum members and $3 for nonmembers. Participants should bring a lunch; the museum will provide beverages. Lunch can begin as early as 11:30 a.m.; the lecture runs from 12:30 to 1 p.m.

YOUR MAIL: Doug and Mary Ann, Evelyn, Bonnie, Sam, Linda, Brittney (The Bunch from North Augusta, Burnettown and Warrenville) are “really enjoying Aruba. Went to Grant Turke, Curacao, Dominican Republic.”

Frequent travelers Pat and Wayne Fuller, of North Augusta, send one card from their “resting place” in the Great Smoky Mountains and another from Floyd’s Barber Shop in Mount Airy, N.C., inspiration for Mayberry. They report enjoying a pork chop sandwhich at Snappy Lunch.

Johnny and Judy Finley picked a baseball card just for me showing Kaufmann Stadium in Kansas City, where the Royals play.

“We are visiting our son … the KC BBQ is hard to beat.”

Fred and Hattie Blanchard find lots to see in San Diego.

And Doris and Marty Charnock send a beautiful postcard from the Carolina Coast. They are “learning about the area around Morehead City, Beaufort and Cape Lookout.”

TODAY’S JOKE: Bill had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”

Five small voices answered in unison: “OK, Dad, you get the toy.”

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