KIRBY: What do you want to be when you grow old?

People will sometimes stop me and say, ‘I want your job.’

 

— Dale Klco, park ranger

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AARP Bulletin (the office copy ends up in my mailbox) has a cover story this month on “Great Second Careers.”

It features a lot of people older than me having fun with new jobs that probably would be good “first careers.”

For example, there’s a 66-year-old former flight attendant who became an inventor. There’s a 58-year-old pharmacist who became … a flight attendant.

There were also gray-haired sailboat captains, personal trainers, dog walkers, nurses, air rescue specialists and park rangers.

Of course it’s not all glamour. A 65-year-old former electrician decided to become an attorney. He went to law school, passed the bar and joined the office of a lawyer friend.

The only downside of this modern-day Matlock seems to be the challenge of paying off what he estimates to be $200,000 in school loans.

Maybe there’s a third career for that.

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WHAT WOULD YOU BE? What would you be if it wasn’t what you were? Send me an e-mail if you have some ideas … and I will tell you what I thought about doing in my mid-20s.

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NOW THIS: Georgia is surrounded. A report in JAMA Neurology found higher dementia rates in those born in nine states and three of them — South Carolina, Alabama and Tennessee — border Georgia.

The risk of dementia — adjusted for age, sex and race — was 28 percent higher among people born in those three states, as well as Alaska, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma and West Virginia.

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TODAY’S JOKE: Ernie in Evans sent this one.

A lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had stopped.

The man walked up and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?”

“Sure,” said the woman, “do you need a lift?”

“Not me,” the man said. “I’ll be spending hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo.

“They’re a bit stressed, so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $200 for your trouble.”

“I love animals,” said the woman. “I’d be happy to.”

The two chimps were put into the back seat, carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the woman walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over.

“What are you doing here?” he demanded, “I gave you $200 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!”

“I know you did,” she said. “But we had money left over so now we’re going to Sea World.”

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Reach bill Kirby

at bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.

 

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Fri, 02/23/2018 - 19:39

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