KIRBY: You say you want a resolution?

We have become a nation of thoughtless rushers, intent on doing before thinking, and hoping what we do magically works out.

 

― Len Holman

My calendar had a big 1 on it this morning, so I think it’s time to get a head start on New Year’s resolutions.

I am aware most everyone puts this off until January when the holiday parties and seasonal temptations are complete, and there is little but chilly days to deal with as we shuffle through Lent.

I, however, see an opportunity. In fact, I thought of it on Black Friday (or as I like to call it, Cold Turkey Day).

I will approach denial and December the way the Atlanta Braves approach spring training.

I will work on a set of goals and benchmarks and plans of improvement but … (and this is the great thing about spring training) I don’t have to win the games. They don’t count.

The standings and results and statistics won’t be official until next month.

If I strike out or drop a ball here or there, no problem. I’ll practice. I’ll get better and everything should be clicking when the calendar says 1 again.

SAVING TIME: Beverly in Martinez sent a very nice card with some very nice comments, agreeing with my frustration of daylight time changes.

“We rural Georgians could never figure out why it began,” she wrote. “Someone said it was so rich people could have more daytime to have barbecues … My cousin Bubba said ‘We working folks are too tired to have barbecues.’ I agree. I remember leaving at dark coming home at dark and no time to enjoy the daylight.

“Wish we had the wherewithal to revoke it and go back to the old time.”

(Beverly, I suspect the time change is like many government intrusions. At first we complain, but after a while, we get used to it.)

BONSAI REMINDER: Caroline and Fred Wieland have asked me to let you know they will host their 15th Annual Bonsai Open Garden from 1-4 p.m. today and Saturday at their home at 3933 Wood Valley Drive, Aiken.

The Wielands studied bonsai in Japan and have been giving presentations for more than 40 years. Bonsai uses cultivation techniques such as pruning, root reduction, potting, and defoliation to produce small trees that mimic the shape of full-size trees.This event is free to the public. Call (803) 221-2923 for information.

TODAY’S JOKE: Jim Hope shares this. You Know It’s Time To Diet When …

You are diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”

You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.

You go to the zoo and the elephants throw peanuts to you.

You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.

Your blood type is Ragu.

You could sell shade.

Reach Bill Kirby at bill.kirby@augustachronicle.com.

 

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Sun, 02/25/2018 - 00:00

Rants and raves