You lose it if you talk about it.
— Ernest Hemingway
You’re driving down the interstate or some other major highway and you see a sign that reads something like … “Cooterville Historic District.”
And you think to yourself, “Cooterville isn’t big enough to have a Dairy Queen and I’m pretty sure I never heard of anything historic happening there …
“So how did it get a whole district of history?”
Well, I asked the Department of Transportation what goes into the display of such road signs, and they answered.
Local jurisdiction (ie., the Cooterville Chamber of Commerce, I suppose) “must provide documentation from the Historical Society indicating that their town/city is registered as historic. We also need a map of the boundary that is deemed historical. The city limit boundary may or may not be the actual historic boundary.
“The entity needs to make a formal request for an evaluation and anticipate paying for the signs.”
If you can prove some history and are willing to pay for the signs, you’ve got yourself some glory.
BY THE WAY: I made up the name “Cooterville.”
I could not find a Cooterville in Georgia or South Carolina, however, many of you know there is an annual “Cooterfest” in Allendale County. It’s usually held in May, so you won’t have to mess up your spring plans by choosing between it and the Masters.
Cooterfest 2018 will be May 4-5, according to its website, and I think you can still order Cooterfest T-shirts.
AN OLD COOT: A cooter, if you don’t know, is a North American river turtle.
It was also the nickname for a good ol’ boy mechanic on the old Dukes of Hazzard TV show, as played by the actor Ben Jones.
He did such a good job playing a likeable redneck on television that he came home to Georgia and easily won two terms to the U.S. Congress, where voters must have thought he would fit right in.
FITTING IN: The Chronicle’s annual Life After 50 program takes place between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. today at the Legends Club on Washington Road and you should come by and say hi. Lots of booths, displays and free stuff.
I am on the schedule at 1:30 to tell stories of the greatest hits of Augusta journalism.
I spent all weekend calculating the statute of limitations on past adventures, so I think I’m in the clear.
TODAY’S JOKE: While shopping in the mall with three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught a young woman’s eye.
“Do you think Daddy would like this?” she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.
“No way,” a horrified 6-year-old son replied. “Daddy would NEVER wear that!”
Reach Bill Kirby at firstname.lastname@example.org.