Holiday decor is gone in a flash

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

– Beverley Nichols

When is the proper time to take down the Christmas decorations?

My wife and I differ on this. She thinks they should stay up into January, citing some vague 12 Days of Christmas Rule.

I think they should be boxed up and put away by lunchtime on Dec. 25.

We debate this like adults.

She talks about how Christmas decorations make the house look special.

I talk about how that might be true but we put most of this up the weekend after Thanksgiving, and it’s starting to look too familiar.

Usually we compromise.

But also, just as usually, she likes to go visit her mother in west Georgia right after the holiday.

That’s when I strike.

One minute I’m waiving bye-bye on the front porch and the next I’m throwing lights and stockings and her heavenly host of about 100 (no exaggeration) angels into boxes, then racing them back into the attic.

My quickest removal of holiday evidence was about three years ago when I had the entire house cleared of red-and-green gear by 4:30 p.m. on Christmas afternoon.

This year it stayed up until the 29th.

But then someone wanted to go visit her mother … and, well, you know what happened.

 

SPEAKING OF THE NEW YEAR: OK, so it’s officially 2012. So how come we don’t hear anybody talking about that Mayan calendar and the world ending in 2012?

It was such a big deal they made a movie about it.

Maybe everyone figured that if the Mayans couldn’t predict their demise a couple of hundred years ago, they probably couldn’t predict ours, either.

 

BIRTHDAY GREETING: Fifty years ago this morning (a Monday) I stood before my fourth-grade class during “show-and-tell” and shared that my mother was in the hospital about to have a baby. With two younger sisters already, I also shared with the class that I had asked the Lord for it to be a boy.

Prayers were answered.

Today, the best brother one could have celebrates half a century at his home in Hilton Head, S.C. May that tall blonde he married let him sleep late.

 

TODAY’S JOKE: A man who had been heavily celebrating the new year phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.

“They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.

“Never mind,” he said, “I got in the back seat by mistake.”

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