I spent my weekend in India. My ear was there, at least, because I was on the phone with a computer service technician for most of Saturday, the second such day in a week’s time.
I couldn’t have asked for a more pleasant technician. Prateek was informative, polite and helpful. It’s just that anytime I’m on a computer for more than 30 minutes, you might want to round up your family, stow them all into a lifeboat and save yourselves. There will surely be icebergs ahead.
I’m certain I tried Prateek’s patience with my questions, and now that it’s all over, I’m trying to remember what he said I should do to keep our computer in top form. Some things were lost in computer-language translation, I fear.
I told my wife how the experience had left me feeling “rode hard and put up wet,” as the cowpokes say. She sounded exhausted herself simply from listening to me explain the ordeal.
“When I was working, I used to be, uh, computer-good,” she said, stumbling over the expression she had just coined. “But now I’m – computer-bad.”
I would be less than honest if I said it was just the computer work that had tired us out. We had possession of our 3-year-old granddaughter, Reagan, who is a dynamo when playing, which is most of the time.
Our computer is in the same room as the toys, and after I covered my ear so I could hear Prateek speaking from thousands of miles away, my wife, JoAn, took her into the other room, where, I found out later, this conversation took place:
“You are my mama’s mama?” Reagan said.
“Yes,” JoAn replied.
“Who is your mama?”
“My mama’s in heaven.”
“Yes, she died and went to heaven.”
“She’s in heaven?”
“She’d better get back down here!”
JoAn’s mother would have loved Reagan.
We were keeping Reagan because her brothers were down with some virus that was going around. Nolan, 6, is just getting interested in sports, but Camden, 11, is the consummate athlete. Whether it’s football, baseball or basketball, he plays well. He is smart, too, knowing only slightly less than Sportscenter.
One sport I have no use for is basketball – and it has nothing to do with the fact that I lasted only a short time in the sport’s tryouts in high school, where I have a vivid memory of the coach bending over me as I lay gasping for breath on the court and saying to me, “Moore, I think you need to find another sport.”
Still, I know Camden is keeping up with March Madness, so I called him Sunday to ask who he would like to see win the NCAA Tournament.
“Florida or Duke,” he rasped immediately.
Florida? I failed to mention that Camden’s only shortcoming is a fondness for the Gators. Grandchildren – like computers – will break your heart.