Candidates should be seen, not heard

Like you, I have been receiving a lot of political phone calls lately. Usually in the evening, about suppertime. Usually recordings. Usually obnoxious ones.


When the phone shows that the incoming call is from “Anonymous” or “Pri­vate caller,” I don’t answer it. But then, that’s my policy all the time, not just during elections.

If you don’t have the pride to identify yourself when calling, you don’t need to be calling. Not calling me, anyway. Say hello to my voicemail.

Whenever I do get suckered into picking up the phone, callers have one chance to make a good impression. The same goes for their commercials. If the first one I hear is pandering to the lowest common denominator (and of course, it is), then they shouldn’t expect me to listen as the commercial is repeated ad nauseum.

Here’s the deal. All those calls and commercials have been carefully planned out and, of course, we know that “I approved this message.” If their message is wrong now, we can’t expect them to get things right when they’re speaking off the cuff on the campaign trail.

I’m not a political animal, though, and to me, it’s not really what they say – they’re all going to say they grew up loving America and guns – but it’s how they say it. Their gobbledygook usually stops me before I can hear their political message. Hmmm, maybe that’s for the better.

For instance, politicians love to rag on Washington. They’re going to sweep into that town and clean up Amer­ica. And this is often from people who have been in federal office for years!

A couple of candidates this time around have lost my potential vote already because they said they “grew” a business. Now, they might have grown a crop, and they might have grown a foot that summer when they were 13. But I’ve never seen anyone grow a business. Built it, yes, or expanded it, or doubled its size.

If they’re calling to tell me they grew a business, they’d better show me a field where little offices or assembly lines have sprouted up.

Another candidate dropped off my radar when he said he “partnered” with some group. Maybe he did work with that group, or join with it, but he just showed me how lazy he was by taking a perfectly good noun and using it as a verb. Such usage clogs the dictionaries, and we have enough lazy people in office already.

I’m hanging up on you. Click!

One candidate boasted to be “working to empower individuals and communities to make a difference by bringing people together in a collaborative way to solve problems and enact change.” What?

I know some wonderful people in office, and some who might do well if elected. I just think other candidates shouldn’t be allowed to open their mouths. These people should remain “Anonymous” until election day.



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